But honest officer, it’s just a nervous tick

I don’t want to rehash what has been said over and over again about Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) and his treatment in the media, by his constituents, and his peers. I’m sure you’re bored and fed up with it all. I know I am.

Nor will I cast any stones or make any accusations about either his guilt or innocence. Only he truly knows what happened in that restroom and what his true intentions were, so I’m not going to speculate on that aspect of it.

However, from my half century of experience on this little blue ball we call Earth, I have found that innocent men do not plead guilty. He claims he did it to make it go away, hoping it would all simply be swept under the proverbial rug of justice and he could get on with his life. He is finding that not to be the case.

The interesting question is: What would an innocent man’s reaction be?

A truly innocent man certainly wouldn’t have kept quiet, wouldn’t have become a passive victim to circumstance.

No, an innocent man wrongfully accused will loudly and passionately argue their innocence.

Especially if you consider the circumstances. Tapping your foot in the john? That’s a “well-known” signal that you’re looking to have a homosexual liaison of some sort? To who is this “well-known?” Certainly not I, nor does it seem “well-known” to nearly every talk show, radio show, and news show host who has expressed the same surprise and ignorance. It’s something new to all of us.

How can something so “well-known” be so unknown?

Regardless, an innocent man when confronted by the undercover cop with the accusation that tapping your foot in a bathroom stall is regarded as lewd behavior would first laugh.

“Haha. You’re kidding, right? I was doing what?”

Then when the cop persisted, the reaction would probably be anger.

“You’re serious? Is this a set-up? You think because I tapped my foot I was what? I never heard of such a thing!”

The next reaction would be physical.

“Get your fucking hands off of me, you pig! I’ll tap my foot on your fucking head!”

The inevitable:

“Do you know who I am?”

Then threats:

“I’ll have your badge! You’ll be a rent-a-cop at the local mall when I’m done with you.”

When Marandized:

“Attorney? Yeah, I want an attorney. He’s going to sue you and this whole fucking city for all you’re worth!”

On the way to the station in the back of the car:

“I didn’t do anything you fucking nut! I didn’t do anything. This is bullshit, man, and you know it!”

Once the lawyer arrives and you’re processed out:

“See you in court, asshole. I hope you’ve got some other line of work to fall back on.”

Because the innocent don’t take bogus charges lying down. We fight back. We believe in the American justice principle of innocent until proven guilty, emphasis on proven, in a court of law where we can bring face our accuser and give him the finger.

We don’t roll over and plead guilty to anything we didn’t do.

Again, I’m not passing judgment on Sen. Craig and I’m certainly not saying his actions indicate his guilt or innocence. But his pleading guilty does raise suspicions.

I’m just saying.

I don’t know if we’ll ever know the truth, but if nothing else comes out of this incident, at least now we straight men know not to tap our feet while in the stall. Now it’s well-known.

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One thought on “But honest officer, it’s just a nervous tick

  1. Until I read your post last week, I didn’t know any of this had happened – now it’s all over the news.

    And what an odd story it is ! Seriously, why would anyone plead guilty to something they weren’t guilty of? Seems there must be something going on here that no one’s talking about.

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