It’s been creeping over me for the last few months, maybe even the last year, that feeling that my childhood is slipping away.
Some might say it slipped away a long time ago, considering I turned 50 this year. I say thee nay! I held on dearly to those years and I’ve refused to let go.
So how does a mid-life crisis manifest itself?
How the hell should I know? I’ve gone off on my own in everything else in this life, I’m doing it here, too.
I’ve watched the movies, read a few novels, where the main character goes through a mid-life crisis (hereafter referred to as MLC). It always seems to manifest itself around the man trying to recapture his lost youth.
OK, so far so good.
These men in these stories, however, when experiencing this MLC rush right out and buy a hot new sports car, sometimes a Corvette, sometimes a Porsche (remember, always pronounce that as “Porsh,” only one syllable, it really pisses off the snooty Porsche owners), sometimes a Ferrari, but whatever it is it’s often red and deadly fast. Me? I’m happy with my 1996 Pontiac Sunfire with its 127,000 miles and its works-when-it-wants-to cassette deck. But, it is red.
Or these men suffering from MLC do the metro-sexual thing and start getting younger, more modern clothes, get a new, younger looking haircut, start going to the gym, and things like that to try to look and feel younger. Personally, I’ve never really been into my looks, not to that extent anyway. Oh, if I grow my beard I might use that Just For Men stuff to hide the gray, but other than that, I’ve got the same hairstyle I did in high school, just shorter. But, I did just go out and get a new pair of slippers.
Occasionally these MLC men will start having affairs, picking up younger women, believing that the sexual conquest of some blonde bimbo will make them younger. Honestly, how stupid is that? How can you have any meaningful conversation with someone who’s never heard of Jonny Quest or Black Sabbath or thinks that if a movie isn’t in color it can’t possibly be worth watching? But, my wife is already 10 years younger.
So now you’re asking, “OK, Ed, so how is this MLC manifesting itself if you aren’t into fast cars, young women, and Botox injections?”
Comic books, my friends, comic books.
I’ve had this urge come over me to buy the comic books of my youth. The ones I let slip through my fingers growing up. I want to own all the Jack Kirby drawn Captain America comic books from the Silver Age. I want to recollect all the original Barry Smith Conan the Barbarian comics. I want the Jim Steranko Nick Fury, Agent of Shields, the Bernie Wrightson Swamp Things, and the Jim Starlin Captain Marvels. More sporatically, I want to reaquire all the early editions of Fantastic Four, Spiderman, Dr. Strange, The Mighty Thor, Iron Man, The Spectre, The Atom, Legion of Superheroes, The Demon, The New Gods, Kamandi, Tarzan, and many more that I once owned. They don’t even need to be in mint, or near mint, or even very good condition. They certainly wouldn’t have been had I kept them all.
They’d be dog-earred and browning from lots of use. And I don’t even need the entire collections of these. Just the ones I owned. I don’t believe I started reading the Fantastic Four until they were in issue 70 or so.
Yes, I want all my old comics back. If you have them, if you have say Captain American 100 through 125 or so, send them my way. If you’ve got Conan the Barbarian 1 through 35, or Nick Fury 1 through 15, put them in the post today.
I’ll thank you for them and you’ll feel better knowing you helped me in my MLC time of need.
There, now that that’s out of the way, I’ll be able to get back to my series on Old Time Radio. The Shadow will be posted as soon as I can figure out which episode best represents the entire series.