Meatspace. This phrase is used by everyone on the Internet to describe their real life friends. I just find it creepy. Maybe it’s the dark fantasy writer in me. I can’t help but think of, well, here, this example is from my current WIP. This is what “meatspace” makes me think of.
The room was a slaughterhouse. Blood and bits of meat were splattered over everything, as if the bodies had been run through a wood chipper. The walls, floor, ceiling, or what was left of the ceiling, were all painted in gore and torn chunks of bloody flesh. Nothing in the room had escaped untainted. The ceiling fan, which dangled from its wires, was wrapped up with intestines that stretched across the room to the curtain rods looking like morbid party streamers.
On the floor lay two man-sized lumps that resembled freshly ground beef. Something had literally stomped them like grapes until they were unrecognizable as anything even remotely human.
So really, now you can understand why “meatspace” gives me the creeps.
Brett Farve. I know, I know. Some of you are saying, “But Ed, you named your first born after him, so how could that be on your negatory list?” It’s because it’s spelled Favre, not Farve! I’ve even seen signs at Lambeau Field, where everyone should know better, misspell it Farve. Here. Here’s a mnemonic to help you remember. “If you spell it Farve you aren’t doing him a favor (Favre).” OK, I just made that up and it probably needs some work, but you get the idea.
Man Crush. As in, “I’ve got a man crush on Brett Favre.” This just brings up all sorts of images and connotations that I don’t care to think about. I mean saying that you like or even love Brett Favre doesn’t give me the same kind of emotional response as “man crush.” I have no idea why.
It’s a short list. Today. I’m sure I’ll think of more in the future and lucky you! You’ll be the first to hear them.