I am So Going to Hell

So we’re at communion, the most holy of all church ceremonies, and we’re kneeling before the whatever it is, the naos? Dais? (Edited to Add: OK, I’ve just been informed it is the altar. Silly me.)

Anyway, the pastor is coming down the row handing out the wafers and he’s saying, “The body of Christ for you.” On to the next person, hands wafer, “The body of Christ for you.” And on and on down the row, coming toward me.

And for some reason, this is just how my mind works, I start thinking of the Soup Nazi from “Seinfeld” and I imagine the pastor saying, as he gets to me, “No Christ for you!”

And I do my best not to giggle as he sticks the wafer in my hand.

A few weeks ago, again while taking communion, I knelt down next to my wife and I must have bumped her because she said, “What? I’m not giving you enough room?” So I started elbowing her, playfully, and said, “No. Move over.”

Then we both look up and notice the pastor staring at us.

Not sure why people think church is so boring. I’m always entertained.

-30-

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “I am So Going to Hell

  1. Yeah, you’re going to hell. The good news is, after my brothers, my husband, and I in church today, I think you’ll have company! Is picking on the pastor (not our regular church) a “Go directly to hell” offense? If it’s DURING the service?

  2. Yeah, you’re going to hell. The good news is, after my brothers, my husband, and I in church today, I think you’ll have company! Is picking on the pastor (not our regular church) a “Go directly to hell” offense? If it’s DURING the service?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s