So I had a few thoughts and thought I share them. Lucky you, hey?
So, I’m out for my normal 2-mile lunch walk and I get ahead of these women, and I overhear, “So she axed him. She axed him, then she turned around and axed me!” and I’m horrified. I don’t want to turn around for fear of seeing this poor woman with a cleft skull, and I’m thinking, here this woman has Lizzy Bordon running around her office, she might be mortally wounded, and she’s talking about it like it’s an every day occurrence.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Which reminds me of my own near death experience. I went to the supermarket to pick up a few items and I see this new product, I can’t remember the name nor is it important to this story, but I get in the checkout and the cashier picks it up and she’s like, “Have you tried this?” And I’m like no, and she goes, “Cuz I was gonna ax you!” WTF? What kind of grocery story slaughters their customers for trying new products?
I have never returned there again!
So I ax you, what is the world coming to?
Then, I’m driving home from work and I’m stopped at a stop and go light (that’s traffic light to you) and as I’m sitting there, a guy pulls up on the right, about to make a turn. He looks to his left, to something I can’t see because there’s a big van on my left, and he proceeds to make with this loud wolf whistle and then goes “Yow!” as he peels away, squealing his tires around the corner.
The light changes and I glance over and see several women walking across the street.
Now I ask you, or ax you as the case may be, do women really find the wolf whistle a turn-on? I mean, do they say (with hand fluttering before their face), “Oh, be still my beating heart, yonder calls my Romeo, my one true paramour, I think I shall be faint.”
Or do they tend to go, “As if, asshole.”
I’m thinking the latter. But then, I’ve never done the hanging out the window, “Hey chicky mama, you is hawt!” thing. So maybe I missed out.
There. Those ramblings weren’t so painful, were they?