More Gimmicks, Same Old Beer

Miller, now MillerCoors, seems to be struggling with the concept of “good beer.”

Instead of creating new beers, instead of innovating and producing more craft beers, which is where the market is growing, MillerCoors seems set on marketing their mainstay beer, Miller Lite with gimmicks and bull shit. Instead of making the beer better, they’ve created a whole advertising campaign on the phrase, “Triple hops brewed.” It’s actually a meaningless term, but it conjures up images that maybe Miller actually puts MORE hops into Miller Lite and that somehow makes it special. Well, they don’t and it doesn’t.

They’ve created the aluminum “bottle,” which is nothing more than a funny shaped can with a screw-on lid.

They claim there’s “taste protector” cap and lid on their cans and bottles that “locks out air and locks in that Great Pilsner Taste.” Well, first of all, let’s get one thing straight. There has never been “Great Pilsner Taste” in a Miller Lite. If you’ve noticed, this ad campaign was dropped. That’s because the “taste protector” cap was bullshit. They were the same old caps and seals they’d always used and like all caps, it was always designed to protect the beer. They had created nothing new but were marketing it like they had.

And let’s not forget the “cold activated” cans Coors uses. Oh, wow. Now I can just LOOK at the can to know its cold. The fact that it’s been on ice for a few hours wasn’t a clue.

Now, their latest gimmick is the “vortex bottle.” The bottle has these spiral grooves inside it that cause the beer to swirl as it’s poured. So what? How does that improve taste? In fact, what does it do? Even the ads are vague. Why? Because it doesn’t do shit!

Hey, MillerCoors, how about cutting the bullshit and actually giving us GOOD BEER for a change?

Heck, Miller Lite itself is a gimmick. There’s a reason Miller was NEVER the number one beer in the country, or even Milwaukee. They have never produced good beer. And today, they continue that tradition. There’s a reason they’ve had a 1.7% sales drop. They try to baffle us with bullshit instead of dazzle us with well-crafted, delicious beer.

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