A rash decision

This blog post might be TMI, so be warned, but I’ll try to keep it brief.

Begin TMI:

I’ve been walking as a means to get fit since about 2007. I usually walked at lunch on nice days–this is Wisconsin so we have maybe a handful of those, otherwise it’s raining or snowing–for about one to two miles.

Then came the Great Depression and unemployment. I didn’t walk much. According to the Republicans, it was because all we unemployed did was sit on the couch and do drugs. 

Anyway, I finally got a new job downtown and could now walk everyday inside the mall regardless of the weather.

My walking increased to about five miles a day. I park about three-quarters of a mile from work, then walk on my breaks and lunch.

Almost immediately I developed a rash between my legs. I wasn’t sure what it was. A heat rash? A rash from chaffing? Or was it the dreaded jock itch?

I tried different rash creams and lotions. Those made it worse because it just added to the moisture between my legs. (Hey, I warned you there’d be TMI!)

I tried different remedies for jock itch and they not only made the rash worse, they turned the rash into raw skin. Walking became even more painful and I wonder if people thoight I was a cowboy because I walked bow-legged.

Powders seemed to work the best, combined with bathing the area twice a day. The ones with corn starch worked the best because the corn starch is slippery and helps with the chaffing.

One of the best powders was Anti-Monkey Butt, mostly because their logo made me laugh and it was the only thing humorous in this situation.


I must warn you against using Gold Bond Medicated Powder between your legs, however, because it burns!

Things were worse in the summer and the symptoms were relieved when the weather was cool.

This summer I was rash free, despite some 90+ degree days with a heat index into the 100s. Despite the fact that I’ve since started running. I figured much of that had to do with losing almost 20 pounds since last year. The extra weight contributed to the heat and chaffing. 

It was a time for rejoicing. I was free, or so it seemed, until Monday. Suddenly the rash was back. Weird, because the temperature was lower than the last few weeks.  But the humidity was high. Plus it was high in the office, as well. Seems our A/C can’t handle humidity very well so I sat in my cube all day on a l ow simmer.

Tuesday was bad as well. And it was a running day. I tried. I really did, but the pain became so intense partway through the run that I had to quit after only a mile. I was probably quite a sight, limping and bow-legged as I was. When I checked, I found I had developed a welt about three inches long raised about half an inch from the skin right between my legs. It felt as though  my running shirts and my briefs were made of sandpaper. Hot sandpaper. Covered in salt. With a dash of Tabasco sauce.

In passing, I mentioned it to my wife. (I think the limping and grimmace on my face were her first clue.) She asked if I’d tried antiperspirant. 

What? Between the legs? Won’t that irritate it more? Isn’t there some sort of law against using it anywhere other than under your arms?

So I gave it a try yesterday. After years of failure, I wasn’t holding out much hope that this would work. 

I was surprised by the result. Not only did the welt go away I was, if not relatively dry, comfortable  down there. I probably shouldn’t be surprised since it is antiperspirant  (not deodorant, which only masks the smell) and it’s job is to stop perspiration.

Today is a running day, so I’ll see how well it works tonight.

Am I the only one who didn’t know about this? 

/end TMI

-30-

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