Tomtom fail fail so far so far

Technology is really pissing me off.

For example, my Samsung Galaxy 7 Edge this morning had no signal. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch point shit. The signal strength meter was greyed out with a tiny “x” by it, plus the words “Emergency calls only” was displayed along the top.

WTF? I hate this phone. Or I hate Verizon. Or I hate my building. Maybe it’s all part of some dastardly plan by the Cheeto in Cheat to prevent me from responding to his ignorant tweets.

Whatever.

My latest technology related rant is my brand spanking new fitness watch. I only just got it last night and already I’m frustrated as Hell.

It’s a tomtom Runner Cardio  (according to Amazon it’s been discontinued by the manufacturer — yet tomtom’s website shows something amazingly similar for 3x the price I paid. Go figure.).

To be honest, I haven’t even had a chance to run it through its paces yet. I spent the entire evening and again this morning just trying to get the thing TO SYNC UP WITH THEIR GODDAMMED PHONE APP!

But aside from that, what else is giving you buyer’s remorse, I hear you ask. Allow me to count the ways.

1) It doesn’t track steps! Really? I thought that was just a given with any wearable fitness device: they track steps. Not this one. And maybe that’s my fault. I didn’t think to even look for that as a feature when I was reading about it because I assumed that was a standard on all fitness devices. It would be like buying a car and then finding out it doesn’t have a GAS PEDAL. “We find most of our customers are perfectly happy just idling wherever they go.”

2) It doesn’t track sleep. Again, and maybe I’m wrong, but I assumed sleep tracking was another basic for fitness trackers. My Garmin Vivofit monitored sleep. So did my Fitbit Charge HR. My wife’s brand new Misfit Ray also monitors sleep. The tomtom doesn’t. But then, this thing is so bulky, I doubt I could wear it comfortably while I slept. Which brings up reason #3.

3) This thing is “Yuge!” as Benedict Donald would say. It did not look this big in the box at Best Buy when I looked at it. Nor did it seem so massive in the various pictures I looked at, but believe me, it’s so large I can’t even wear it comfortably with a long sleeve shirt; not and be able to button the cuff. In fact, buttoning the cuff squeezes the navigation button on the band and makes the menus change willy-nilly. Also, you can’t simple move the cuff off the watch to look at it. It’s that tight. I mean, the watch part is 1-5/8 inches wide, as is the strap buckle, while the strap itself narrows to a still very wide 1-1/4 inches. I mean, it feels like a massive shackle on my wrist.

Tomtom Runner Cardio

At this point, based on its pure bulk alone, I wish I had gone with the Misfit Shine 2. They are very minimal, unobtrusive, and much more stylish considering they are just a round disc (available in several colors) with tiny lights around the perimeter to indicate your status. And they track steps as well as sleep.

Misfit Shine 2

4) I chose the tomtom specifically because it had a heart monitor, which was a feature I liked of the Fitbit this was replacing. But unlike the Fitbit, which constantly monitored your heart rate and instantly provided feedback with just a tap and a glance, this one seems to take the long way home, forcing you to menu over to the heart rate sensor. Maybe I’m wrong in that. Maybe it does constantly monitor your heart and syncs that info to the phone app except, oh, that’s right, IT ISN’T SYNCING!

And the syncing problem isn’t with the phone, it’s something to do with either the tomtom app, or even the watch itself (maybe it just has a crappy Bluetooth transceiver), because almost every review of the app in the Android Play Store is bitching about, what’s that? Oh, right, SYNCING PROBLEMS!

Are you listening tomtom? Your app is a Piece of Shit!

Nothing pisses me off faster than technology that doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do.

At this point, your probably wondering, Ed, what made you choose this particular fitness watch?

Well, I’ll tell you since you asked so nicely. I chose the Runner Cardio because it is specifically designed to track RUNNING. It has GPS to track your run, provides info on pace and distance, and compares runs, meaning it’ll show you how you did compared to your last run and if you’re beating or losing to yourself. But what really sold me was this can track you on the treadmill.

I do a lot of treadmill running. This is Wisconsin, after all, and we have more bad days than good. A fitness watch that could track me while indoors on a treadmill had me at “Hello.”

But I haven’t run with it yet. I’m still trying to SYNC THE GODDAMMED THING! Maybe once I do run with it the watch will impress me so much I’ll be able to forgive it all its other faults.

Maybe. I mean, a step counter is nice, but I know I average 20,000 steps a day, so I don’t need one for motivation. And a sleep tracker is fun to look at and go, “See? This and this and this were when the effing dogs had to go outside. Bastards.” But again, it isn’t an absolute necessity.

But not syncing? That is a deal breaker and I’m pissed.

SYNC, DAMN YOU!

-30-

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