Friday week in review

A Friday Haiku

First day of Autumn

Someone needs to tell Summer

Ninety-five? Really?

Edited to Add: Milwaukee reached 95 degrees Fahrenheit today. Broke the 1937 record of 92 degrees Fahrenheit.

Here we go, Brewers, here we go!

Only 10 games left and the Milwaukee Brewers are still in the thick of the National League playoff race, despite losing two crucial games that would have tied them with Denver for the final Wild Card berth and brought them a game closer to the Cubs.

Win or lose, if they make the playoffs or don’t, this is already one of the Brewers’ most exciting seasons.

For one thing, no one expected this (except us true blue fans). Every so-called experts predicted the Brew Crew would be cellar dwellars, battling it out with Cincinnati for last place. After all, they had that fire sale, getting rid of all their star players, except for Ryan Braun, and filled their roster with farm club no-names. The Brewers were essentially fielding a Triple-A team, or so the experts claimed.

Did the Brewers even see the script for this season? It’s doubtul because they immediately surprised everyone by jumping into first place in their division from the very beginning and didn’t let up until the All-Star Break. Not only that, they led the league in home runs, RBI, and several other stats. For a time, they were the best team in baseball.

In other words, this lowly small-town team of Triple-A ballplayers dared to disrespect the World Series Champion Chicago Cubs as well as the perennial playoff contending St. Louis Cardinals by beating the pants off of them.

And here we are, on the final lap of the baseball season and the Brewers are still in the thick of it. Second place in the division and still within reach of a Wild Card.

True fans couldn’t be happier and even if they miss the post-season, we can’t complain. They did more than exceed expectations, they knocked them out of the park. They’re a very young team and as they’ve shown, very talented with a lot of heart. They have fun and are just plain fun to watch.

Brewers tear off Erik Thames’ shirt to celebrate his walk off home run against San Diego in June 16, 2017.

This season was all about team-building and gaining valuable experience, especially on how to deal with the intense pressure of a playoff race.

Whatever the outcome of the season is, this team is no longer is a bunch of no-names. In a short time, everyone now knows Domingo Santana, Zach Davies, Eric Thames, Travis Shaw, Josh Hader, Corey Knebbel, Manny Pina (Lucroy who?), Orlando Arcia, nerd boy Eric Sogard, Keon Broxton, Brett Phillips with his 80-grade arm and they’ve put the rest of the league on notice. These guys are going to be contenders for many seasons yet to come.

It’s a great time to be a Brewers fan.

Weigh-In Friday

I’m up again by a couple pounds. Sometimes a little cheating is fine, but losing track of how much you cheated isn’t. It’s like trying to keep a mental tally of your finances instead of writing it down in a ledger, then veing surprised when you get an overdraft notice from the bank. “I could have sworn we had more money!” Our minds like to play tricks on us.

I take some solace in the fact that despite gaining weight, my fat percentage still went down and my muscle percentage went up.

The never ending edits

You’ve heard of the Never Ending Story? Well, I’m trapped in the never ending edits.

I would have hoped I was past the creation stage and well into the pokishing stage of my manuscript, but that isn’t the case.

As my editor side goes through my story to correct flaws in tense, fix passive sentences, and so on, my writer side is also going, “Hey! I have a great idea to add here! How about if…”

And it isn’t just one or two scenes the writer side is considering. It’s every crucial scene. New ideas for dialog, for subplots, and setting as well. Some minor, some major. Not edits, but actual rewrites.

Shut up, writer side, you aren’t helping.

Worse, now I’m worried I might have fallen down the research rabbit hole, that never ending time suck where you go to verify one thing only to have that topic lead to another topic and another and another. None related to what you started out researching, but all addictingly interesting enough to draw you in and hold you there. A prisoner to your own desire for more knowledge.

Help me.

The GOP wants to kill us

There is a lot of buzz going on about how scary the recent release of the remake of Stephen King’s It is. But there’s something even scarier on Capital Hill. It’s a two-headed monster called Graham-Cassidy and it wants to kill us all.

Millions will lose their health insurance. Many due to pre-existing conditions (which they say are covered but they really aren’t), necause the bill has no guarantees they can get coverage.

States that accepted Medicaid expansion under the Affordable Care Act, would lose their funding, but more importantly and scarier, there will be complete changes to how Medicaid is funded to all states. This is the GOP saying “Fuck you” to the elderly and disabled.

This is the worst of the Trumpcare repeal and replace bills yet!

Call your Congressperson. Complain. Give them an earful that we’re tired of their conservative bullshit. Save the ACA.

Unless you want to die.

TheRump wants to kill us too

If there is one thing this week has shown, it’s how much of a divide exists between the deplorables and the rest of the world.

The great orange turd addressed the United Nations in his own inimitable style. In other words, he appalled all civilized people everywhere with his ignorant and bellicose rhetoric, threatening to destroy another nation.

But not everyone was shocked or appalled by TheRump’s insane patter. On the contrary, my Twitter feed exploded with praise for King Cheeto. “It’s about time we had a real President who stands up for Murica!” They want him to destroy a nation. Any nation. Do they look different from us? Speak some funny language other than English? Kill ’em! Kill ’em all! They think going to war should always be our first option in negotiations. Diplomacy is for wimps.

It should come as no surprise the trumpettes admired his angry posturing, his childish namecalling, his chest pounding and threat displays and saw them as something to be proud of. And that’s why Hillary appropriately named them deplorables.

Currently reading

Last night I was digging through my To-Be-Read pile of books and came across “Weird Tales: The Magazine That Never Dies,” an anthology of short fiction that had appeared in that magazine over the years, edited by Marvin Kaye. I picked it up and started reading and couldn’t put it down. I’ve always enjoyed pulp fiction and Weird Tales had some of the best by some of the great writers of the day, like Ray Bradbury, H. G. Wells, Fritz Lieber, August Derleth, L. Sprague de Camp, Robert Bloch, Tanith Lee, H. P. Lovecraft, and Richard Matheson to name a few.

I leave you with a song

For your listening pleasure, a song with which to start your weekend and also to ring in Autumn.

So fell Autumn rain, washed away all my pain, I feel brighter somehow, lighter somehow to breathe once again

So fell Autumn rain, washed my sorrows away, with the sunset behibd somehow I find the dreams are to stay

So fell autumn rain

From “So Fell Autumn Rain” by Lake of Tears

-30-

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The week in review

A Friday Haiku

This Friday signals
The solemn end of summer
Hello Labor Day

What’s up, doc, part II

My doctor wanted me in ASAP (or should I say STAT?) for an EKG. He was worried about my heart.

I may have overstated the symptoms I was experiencing since stopping my diuretic. *sheepish grin*

Remember, last week I stopped taking my diuretic for hypertension, and I’ve been monitoring it.

My blood pressure seemed to be slightly elevated. At his office last week, on HBP meds, it was 100/60. My home machine was registering in the 140s/80s.

I was having a constant, mild headache. I had gained seven pounds in five days. And I mentioned I felt sluggish and I was winded walking up the stairs I normally take. (I guess I also failed to mention I had my backpack on, which adds another 10 to 15 pounds.)

He asked if I had a cough. No, I didn’t. But he wanted me in immediately.

Those emails took place Wednesday, I went in Thursday morning.

Well, the EKG was fine. In fact, it looked virtually identical to the one I had taken 20 years ago.

Plus, his bp machine measured me at 128/80. So obviously, my home machine is way off.

He had been worried that I had suffered congestive heart failure (Thus the question about having a cough), whereas I attributed it all to gaining 7 pounds in 5 days.

So we had a discussion about the diuretic again. His philosophy is to have his patients on as few drugs as possible. At this point, there are three tacts we could take. 1) Go back on the diuretic because we knew that was working (and continue to pee a lot and have dizzy spells). 2) Continue as I’m doing, monitoring things, and see where that leads. 3) We could try another drug to work with the ACE inhibitor I’m already taking (and have to deal with all new side-effects until we find one I can tolerate).

Guess which door I chose?

(Oh, he also gave me a fourth option. Allowing me to take the diuretic whenever I felt I needed a boost.)

Thus, if I cut out as much salt as possible and continue to exercise and lose weight, I should be able to stay off the diuretic.

So, goodbye bacon. Goodbye McDonald’s and Burger King. Goodbye canned soups. Good bye pickles. Goodbye salted popcorn. Goodbye salted peanuts in the shell. Goodbye all you other heavily salted snack foods that I love so much.

Hello bland.

The editing stage

To be honest, I’ve always hated editing. I just find it tedious to read and reread and reread a story again and again as I try to find flaws, fix mistakes, correct continuity errors, and so on.

Tedious. Boring.

Except this time. I’m enjoying editing. Maybe it’s because I really do love this story and the characters. Maybe it’s because as I’m reading it, I’m finding more places to put witty banter in to help round out the characters’ personalities and give a more believable portrayal of their relationships.

I guess it’s a writer thing.

Weigh-In Friday

I’m up, I’m down. This morning I weighed 204 pounds, which means I gained 3.1 pounds from last Friday.

But wait! On Wednesday, I had weighed 206.9 pounds. I had gained 7 pounds in just 5 days. My doctor had warned me that I’d gain water weight when I stopped taking the diuretic. But 7 pounds? That’s a lot of fluid retention. Every cell must have been drowning.

So even though I gained weight from my last official weigh-in, technically, I’ve lost 2.9 pounds.

My body is slowly acclimating to not taking the diuretic. I hope to be back on track by next week.

Bigly news about a yuge loser

I don’t know if you caught this article, but TheRump’s son-in-law said, that everyone should be nice to the big orange turd because negative comments about TheRump make him depressed and suicidal.

Well, yeah, that isn’t really news. Anyone who has paid even the slightest bit of attention to the orange turd’s behavior would have suspected that.

Why else does he get so defensive and lashes out at anyone who criticizes him? Because he can’t handle the truth.

Why else would he label the mainstream media “fake news?” Because if he thinks of it as fake news, the negative stories they print can’t hurt him. And if he calls it the “failing” NY Times, anything they print he can chalk up to desperation on their part. (Yes, TheRump is delusional as well.)

Why else would he have special briefings packages delivered to him several times a day that contain only positive news stories about him?

And really. Where do they even find that much positive news about him? Ive heard sone of thise briefings are over an inch thick. Who is giving TheRump that much positive press? Pravda? FauxNews? The White Nationalist’s Gazette?

Maybe he hired a bunch of staff writers to just make up happy Donny stories.

So, yes, finding out the current SCROTUS, suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts is nothing new. But I bet this information makes more Americans sleep less easy at night knowing this guy with a hair-trigger temper is in charge of all our nukes.

It’s a good day to be a Milwaukeean

That’s because our own conservative unstable, hatemonger David Clarke, the Milwaukee County Sheriff, has resigned.

Yes. There is jubilation, my friends. People are dancing in the streets in Brewtown.

Here’s a song to celebrate by:

And that, as they say in the movies, is a wrap. Have a great three-day weekend!

-30-

Talkin bout Friday

A Friday Haiku

Nothin’ you could say

Could make me not love Friday

Talkin bout Friday!

(My apologies to Mary Wells)

Friday!

WIP wrapup

I finally finished the first draft on the novel I’ve been working on since January. I just typed “the end.” Well, actually, I typed “-30-” the same way I end my blogs and how I’ve ended all my stories forever.

The weird thing was, I could have sworn that I had written down several variations of the ending in my notebook, but I feverishly paged through it and nothing. Nada. Not one word on the ending.

Did I write them all in my head? They seemed so real. So I ended up writing a new ending.

Now I’m debating if I should do the “put it away and forget about it for a while” technique or if I should just jump right in and start editing it.

Most likely, I’ll jump right in. With my poor short term memory, I probably can’t recall much of the story anyway, so there’s no point in trying to distance myself from it.

Besides, I’ve sort of been editing it as I’ve gone along.

Finding the ideal run time

Because I’ve stopped my morning runs, I’ve been looking for a good alternate time to run.

So far, the best time is as soon as I get home before I start preparing dinner.

It’s a somewhat good time because it’s early enough in the evening that my body won’t have all that addrenaline running through it when it’s bedtime.

It doesn’t always work however, if I have to stop at the store for a needed something for whatever meal we’re planning.

Which means, we have to prepare menus ahead of time so we know what needs to be defrosted or what ingredients we don’t have on hand.

Adulting is hard.

Weigh-in Friday

Despite my doctor’s scale reading 204 pounds (it’s one of those old-fashioned ones where they still slide the weights to find a balance point and guess your weight, my home scale thus morning read 199.6 pounds. A slight uptick from my low of 198, but down from a more recent 202 because I had a bad weekend a while back going to Wisconsin State Fair and eating things on a stick and their world famous cream puffs.

WordPress complaint

I write these blogposts on my smartphone and usually I have no issues, except when it comes to creating the headings.

For some reason, they just don’t take. The first one does, but each subsequent heading doesn’t change. While highlighted it shows the heading, “H4” or whatever, but when I unhighlight it, the text is normal. So I’m forced to bold and italicize the headings so you know they’re there until I can edit it at home on my computer. It’s a little frustrating.

Does anyone else have that issue?

US Cellular rebate update

After all the rigamarole we went through, and after waiting all this time (we joined them on June 11th), our rebate cards finally came. As I’ve said before, the entire process of leaving Verizon, joining US Cellular, getting new phones, cost over $2000, which is why people don’t switch cellphone service providers all that often. And after all was said and done, we got $350 in US Cellular cash. That’s better than the $40 they originally were going to give us.

Still, it is basically fake money. They aren’t Mastercard or Visa gift cards. They’re US Cellular cards good only at US Cellular locations. I’ll use it to pay one month’s bill.

And after all that, our bill isn’t any better than it was with Verizon.

I do, however, get reception downtown, which is something I never got with Verizon. So I’ll count my blessings and leave it at that.

Have a Happy weekend!

And that, my friends, is that. I’ll spare you any rants about the orange turd in the Oval Office, although he did give us plenty of ammunition this week to ridicule him with. It’s like he does and says outrageous shit on purpose just to get a reaction or to see how far along he can string his idiotic followers until they finally say, “Uncle. Even we can’t excuse that.” But so far, they’ve bought it all. Sad!

And on that note, let’s get the weekend started with some Little Feat, “Fatman in the Bathtub.”

Enjoy!

-30-

What’s up, Doc?

TMI Warning: The following concerns men’s health issues, specifically mine. If words like urine, prostate, and Trump is an asshole disturb you, then read no further.

Addendum to TMI Warning: My apologies, it seems the words Trump is an asshole only appear in the above warning. My bad.

Went in for my annual physical exam today. Unlike the stereotypical male, who never goes to the doctor except in an ambulance, who takes better premaintenance care of his cars than their own bodies, I do get regular checkups and do go in when I’m not feeling at my best.

As Benjamin Franklin once said, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If something feels “off,” I go in. I don’t want to put it off as “nothing,” or think it can wait, because many maladies don’t wait.

What might seem like a passing discomfort could turn out to be something serious and now untreatable. If only you hadn’t ignored it.

Sorry. Not sorry. Lecture over.

If you want to skip past the rest of this, I got a clean bill of health.

To start with, my pulse was 60. My blood pressure was 100/60. And his lying scale said I’m 204 pounds.

The scale, it seems, measures everyone consistently four pounds more than their home scale, he said. He wasn’t sure why that was. I proposed it was because we were clothed and in my case, had my wallet, keys, a knife, and a fidget spinner in my pocket.

He asked about concerns, I asked if I could go off the diuretic he has me on, in addition to a ACE Inhibitor (yeah, my BP was through the roof). I’ve since lost weight, maybe 30 pounds and I’ve been exercising regularly.

He first was thinking of changing BP meds altogether, but when I mentioned I was having dizzy spells recently, he said we were probably over-treating the BP and yes, I could stop the diuretic; I just have to monitor my BP for a while to see where it goes. He also warned that eliminating the diuretic might increase my fluid retention and thus my weight. But since I’m losing weight, that probably won’t be much of a concern.

Another concern I had was the soles of my feet cramp up really bad sometimes, especially when I first lie down to sleep. He said ending the diuretic should take care of that. The diuretic robs the body of potassium, which would then cause cramps. Here I thought it was from running.

I hated that damned diuretic. It made me feel like I was a six years old again getting a sudden urge to rush to the bathroom, dancing while struggling to get unzipped in time, hoping not to wet myself.

He told me the factors that can cause high blood pressure, and the biggest culprit was sodium. I said I rarely salt my food. He said it’s everywhere and most people unknowingly consume 10,000 milligrams a day. The things to avoid are adding extra salt, fast food lime McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. Even regular restaurants often have too much sodium. Soups, canned or otherwise, have a lot of sodium. So does ketchup and especially soy sauce, which is fine, I use ketchup sparingly and soy sauce only when a recipe calls for it.

I confessed my love for heavily salted snack chips and he nodded his shame as well.

He said you can’t completely eliminate salt, even if you got down to just 2,000 milligrams a day, your food would taste like cardboard. So, moderation. Eat as bland as possible.

Damn you, salt! Why must you make food so tasty while killing us?

He then went through my risk factors for heart disease and I’m down to one now. Age, which I can’t do much about.

Except I still feel like a teenager. Why is that?

I’ve lost weight. I quit smoking 22 years ago. I exercise regularly. My cholesterol and BP are controlled through medications. I don’t have diabetes. And heart disease doesn’t run in my family.

Then we discussed my prostate. One in five men die of prostate cancer and that risk only increases with age. By 80, it’s down to one in two.

They used to give a Prostate-Specific Antigen (PSA) test, but they’ve stopped that screening because the test was virtually useless. Now they only go by a change in symptoms: size increase (my doctor stopped checking mine years ago), more frequent urination, and a weak stream. Symptoms that might seem obvious but being men, we ignore it or waste money by buying something idiotic like Super Beta Prostate.

Also the test would give false positives. Don’t I know it. I had a scare several years back when my numbers started increasing. The “C” word was spoken in hushed whispers. I went in for a biopsy, which, if they tell you it will be painless, they’re lying. It felt like they were stabbing me with this:

Thankfully, the results were negative and they never did figure out why my numbers had risen, which goes back to why the PSA test was useless.

Then we discussed the Shingles vaccine. I had chickenpox, so the virus is dormant in my spine waiting to send out red hot pokers of pain. He wanted to know if I wanted the vaccine, but suggested I consult my insurance because otherwise it would cost me $450 out of pocket. Medicare doesn’t cover it either.

*takes a deep breath* OK, I’ll spare you a rant on the high cost of medicines and health insurance companies.

Then we talked Hepetitis-C, the baby boomer disease. You know why the commercial calls it that? Because they sell the vaccine! Yeah. They’re scaring people into getting something they don’t need. *takes another calming breath*

The only baby boomers who need to worry about having Hep-C are free love hippies and intervenous drug users. You get Hep-C from unprotected sex and/or dirty needles! They never mention that in the commercial, they make it sound like it’s residing in all baby boomers just because.

After all that he said keep doing what you’re doing. I’m his healthiest patient.

Then I had a vein tapped for routine blood tests and I should know the results by tomorrow. “When was the last time you ate?” 6 o’clock. “This morning,” she said, with a note of irritation. No, last night. “Oh, good.”

After all that, I went to McDonald’s for a steak egg and cheese bagel and hashbrowns.

-30-

Friday is like Yeah!

A Friday Haiku

Friday is like Yeah!

A mix of Boo-yah & Boom!

Ready to explode!

Look to the skies

August is just hopping with big astronomical events.

On August 12th, we can expect the annual visit of the Perseid meteor shower. But this one is different! Astronomers say it will be the brightest shower in recorded history. Some might even be visible in the daytime.

If you miss it, you’ll be crying 96 years because the next one won’t come around for another 96 years.

The second event will be the coast-to-coast solar eclipse. Get your protective glasses now before they sell out.

It will sweep across the United States on August 21st. This is the first time the mainland has seen a total eclipse like this since 1979.

However, most of us will only see a partial eclipse. The lucky ones live along a narrow diagonal track that cuts from Columbia, SC up to Portland, OR.

So enjoy. Unless, of course, you don’t believe in science and think these are omens sent by the gods to warn of mankind’s impending doom. In which case, have fun with that.

Writing is like a drug

My current work in progress (WIP) is finally nearing its completion. For the most part, I’ve been very enthusiastic about writing it. When the ideas are flowing freely and I’m in the zone, writing becomes like a drug. A drug that fills me with happiness and excitement. The whole world seems a better place.

Too bad all those wonderful feels end when the editing starts.

Weigh-In Friday

No change. I didn’t lose weight, but then I didn’t gain either. For the kast few weeks, I’ve reached an unchanging plateau.

I’m beginning to think balony sandwiches aren’t the best lunch when trying to lose weight.

Nah! That’s silly talk.

Sad!

The approval ratings for the orange turd right now range from as low as 33% up to around 41%. If we go by the higher number, that means if you meet 10 people today, there’s a good chance 4 of them are idiots.

Currently Reading

Murder in Manhattan by Steve Allan.

Yes, that Steve Allan of TV comedy fame. I had no idea he had written a series of mysteries starring himself and his wife Jayne Meadows. I’ve always admired him. He seemed like a true Renaissance man.

-30-

Friday wrapup

A bad haiku

Today is Friday

The last work day of the week

Let’s all hit the beach!

Morning running

Let me reiterate one more time, I am not now, nor have I ever been a morning person. And yet, when my alarm goes off at 5am, do I hit snooze until my normal wake time 45 minutes later? (Ok, I did on Monday, but that was because my 70-pound dalmatian must have been having nightmares and used me as a pillow all night long and I woke up too stiff and exhausted to move.)

Surprisingly, I get up and put on my running clothes and head out the door. Granted, I’m not chipper or bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I’m more like an automaton. I have just enough wherewithal to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I’ve completed my run.

But it’s become a habit now. I forced myself to do it throughout June, often battling my normal inclination to say, “This is stupid. I want to sleep!”

Now I don’t think, I just turn off the alarm and keep moving. And I haven’t put a different pair of shoes on lately. Different socks, yes.

Today I made it to 1.75 miles, up from the 1 mile a day I was doing in June. I think I’ll stay at this distance for a bit to let my body acclimate before going further. Granted, I was regularly running 5k on the treadmill, but that was a treadmill. It does a lot of the work for you and absorbs much of the pounding, unlike cement.

I really don’t want to risk shinsplints again. They curtailed my running activity for nearly 20 years the last time. That sucked.

Running wear for colder weather

This morning was somewhat chilly. Around 60°F with low humidity. Not like the humid, hotter temps earlier in the week. Which made me think that I soon will need to address Fall and Winter wear. Running in shorts when the gales of November come is probably not a good idea.

For those of you thinking, “It’s July. Isn’t it a little early to be thinking about Winter?” No. This is Wisconsin. It could snow tomorrow. (Ok, for real, no, from what I could find there isn’t any measurable snow here in June, July, or August. But September is coming up fast!)

For now, I have a pair of those long running tights and a long-sleeved exercise shirt (with the strap that goes around your thumb) which will serve me for Fall. But Winter? I don’t know.

Back in the ’80s I had a winter running suit. Sort of a wind-breaker material with an inner lining that wicked away the sweat from my body. I believe it was something made by a company called Nor’Easter or that was the outfit’s name. I don’t recall which, but it kept me warm even on the most brutally cold days.

Anyone have any recommendations?

Weigh-In Friday

Nothing much to speak of. I lost 0.3 pounds.

My fault, really, because I like junk food. Sorry, Piccard.

Also I ate store bought bagels for breakfast instead of the high fiber English Muffins (Thomas’s) I usually have, so those were an additional 110 calories each day (220 calories with 1.5 grams of fat and 2 grams of fiber vs. 100 calories with 1 gram of fat and 8 grams of fiber).

Any loss is good.

Virtual Races

Have you heard of these? You race online, somehow. I just read about it. You can run it from any location. Basically, you run your own race, at your own pace (I guess you can even treadmill it), then get bling, like a medal or something that shows you competed.

Weird, right? But it sounds cool, too. I mean for someone like me who hates crowds and isn’t really much of a people person at all, running a race virtually sounds right up my alley. Or street. Whatever.

But, you ask, won’t people cheat? Well sure, in this day and age of TheRump, his supporters believe lieing, cheating, and committing fraud are the new black, so there is definitely a chance some will cheat. But it isn’t like it’s an officially sanctioned race so you won’t see anyone at the Olympics being announced as, “The man to watch is in lane 3, Brad Liarliarpantsonfire, a relative newcomer to the International race scene. He’s posted the fastest recorded virtual race times in history and with these weather conditions today, he has a good chance to set a new Olympic record.” As far as doing it to get bling, you have to pay an entry fee, so basically, you’re not cheating anyone. They have your money, you have a cheap medal not worth what you paid for it.

For us honest folk, who seem to be becoming a minority, a virtual run helps to motivate us and gives us a chance to see our progress and how we compare against others without actually being passed by an 80-year-old.

I have to look into this further.

And as they say in the Charmin commercials: Enjoy the go.

-30-

Random Friday

Just a few random thoughts for a Friday, none of which deserve their own blog post.

Public Service Announcement

Before you put on your shoes, tie them tight, and head out for your run, a word of advice: ALWAYS CHECK THE INSIDE OF YOUR SHOES FOR DEBRIS!

Especially if you have cats who like to push things off the dresser where they land inside your shoe or you have dogs who are messy eaters and when they bite into a hard treat pieces go flying everywhere, including into your shoe.

Said foreign object becomes very painful after a mile or so and it starts to work it’s way underfoot.

Now maybe unlike me, you’ll stop running, take your shoe off, and shake it out. But if you are like me, you’ll keep running, wincing in pain each time the object that feels like a huge rock (but turned out to be just a small eighths inch piece of dog treat) slips under your big toe.

That Extra Shoelace Hole

I just found out what that extra lace hole in my running shoes is for. Yes, for lacing. Smartass. What I mean is, how to correcrly use that extra hole. Everyone else probably already knew what it’s for and I’m just late to the party, but in case you’re one of those who missed the memo as well, then read on.

My heels tend to slip in my shoes. I don’t know why, maybe because I buy one whole size larger shoe than my foot size so my toes don’t get mashed against the toe box like they do if I only get a half size larger.

Onward. Here is what that extra lace hole is for: to make your shoe fit around your ankle (and in the process, your heel) more snuggly and with minimal slippage. The technique is called the “Heel Lock” amd you start by threading the lace back through that last hole (so the lace is now inside the shoe) forming a loop between the last two hokes, then pass the right lace through the left loop and the left lace through the right loop, cinch it tight by pulling donward, and tie it like normal. Now you’re on your merry way with no heel slippage. (The only drawback is, now your shoes are harder to get off. A fair tradeoff if it prevents heel blisters or premature wearing out of your socks or the material inside the shoe’s heel itself.)

Here’s a video that demonstrates it better than I probably explained it.

That extra Shoelace Hole in action

The Fly

No, not the movie, although if I were to discuss it, I’d have to expound upon how superior the original with David Heddison was in every way: story, acting, dramatic suspense, compared  to the dreadful Jeff Goldbloom remake, which was just gross.

Warning: The following may be TMI for the more delicate flowers among you.

No, I’m talking flies in men’s underwear, or the lack of them in some men’s underwear. A month or so ago, needing new underwear, I stopped at TJ Max. I was looking for something thinner, lighter, and more breathable than cotton. Active wear, I guess it’s called, because I do a lot of mall walking during the day. Something along the lines of compression-like shorts, except as everyday underwear.

I found an inexpensive pair by RBX Active that seemed to fit the bill. Except when I took them out of the package, I realized they didn’t have a fly, which I found odd because I thought all men’s underwear had a fly.

Not having one makes them nearly useless for everyday wear. I mean, men urinate standing up. We don’t undo our belts, open our pants and pull them down. We’re not kids any more learning how to use the urinal. We only unzip our pants, reach in, and fish out our yahoo through the underwear hole. Without one, there’s all this extra yanking and tugging and painful maneuverings going on as you try to pull down these flyless wonders through the zipper opening. No one wants that, it just attracts unwanted attention. Men are all about going in, doing their bizness, and.getting out without any conversation or eye contact.

On the one hand, sure the RBX, made of lycra or other synthetics, are very comfortable, they dont bunch up, they breathe and I guess wick away sweat. They’re very good for exercising in. But not to pee in. Or through, rather. So I use them for running.

Still needing everyday underwear, I went back and picked up a pair of their flied underwear. Seemingly the same material, the same size, but when I got home and tried them on, they were too tight. They had a different cut and the wasitband didnt ride at the same height as the other pair by RBX did yet they were the same size. Yup, I double-checked the package. Same company. Same stated size. Totally different fit. For some reason these were like bikini briefs compared to the other ones.

Which begs the question: if there is such a size disparity even within a manufacturer’s own line, why can’t we try them on before we buy?

Belay that. The very thought that someone else’s nutsack was getting all jiggy with the underwear I just bought makes me squeemish.

So I’m still looking for new underwear. And I’m finding that a lot of them don’t have a fly. I don’t get it. In my experience, the only underwear that was flyless were those embarrassing jockstraps we had to wear in high school gym. Maybe it’s because I’m looking at the type more for athletic use instead of your traditional tighty-whiteys or your grandfather’s boxers? I don’t know.

But here’s the interesting thing. I was looking at Puma brand underwear and making sure they had a fly, when I noticed the flied ones were labeled “with keyhole.”

Keyhole? That’s great! I’m going to refer to the fly as a keyhole from now on.

/End TMI Warning

Friday Weigh-in

I weighed myself today. Friday has always been my normal weigh-in until I became enamoured with all the cool features of our new smart scale.

Well, if you remember Tuesday’s blog post, I was whining I had gained 2.6 pounds over the weekend.

Well, today? I’m back on track. I lost that 2.6 pounds I had gained.

And the.moral of that story is: Only weigh yourself once a week. Pick a day of the week, Friday in my case, and weigh yourself that day only!

You’ll save yourself a lot of grief and time spent writing angry blog posts.

Lace up. Go run.

-30-