Random Friday

A Friday Haiku

Government shut down,
Congress cannot do their job,
Vote all the bums out.

Weigh-in Friday

I’m fighting another cold or maybe the same one. I’ve been sick most of this year so far with colds and a bout of bronchitis. Because of the cold this week, I didn’t run or exercise and yet, my body was always wanting fuel, probably to battle the cold.

So I was expecting to have gained weight when I stepped on the scale, but surprise! I had lost 0.8 pounds.

Don’t ask me how.

2018 Government Shutdown #2

khangress-gov-shutdown-meme

If you blinked, you missed it, but it was there. The government shutdown for about six hours or so because several Senators delayed the vote until past the midnight deadline.

Specifically, Senators Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) and Mike Lee (R-Utah), suddenly had a conscience over how this budget plan would bust the deficit wide open, completely forgetting that they had signed the #GOPTaxScam about six weeks ago without any qualms whatsoever. Not a peep.

But see, according to conservative logic, the tax bill is all right because even though it will blow up the deficit, it puts money back into the “people’s” pockets. Granted, when conservatives talk about the “people”, they don’t mean you and I, the middle class, or the working class struggling to make ends meet, they mean the wealthy, the rich, the well-to-do.

This budget plan they just passed, however, is a spending plan and conservatives don’t like that. Conservatives don’t like to spend money unless it’s for the military. Anything else, to them, is considered an entitlement and should be cut.

So you see, there are good deficits and bad deficits, according to conservatives. Good deficits happen when they are giving the rich a tax break, but if you spend money to feed and house the poor, give medical aid to the elderly,  or educate children, then that leads to bad deficits.

Oh, and see you in a few weeks, this Continuing Resolution is only good until March 23rd, when we get to go through the whole shutdown scare again.

Backwards and in high heels

This 1982 Frank and Ernest cartoon by Bob Thaves seems apropos for events this week:

ginger_frankernesttoon

Only now it should read, don’t forget that Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-California) held the House floor for 8 hours, giving the longest speech in that chamber for at least a century, sipping only water, while in four inch heels.

That’s impressive. You go, girl.

Last Word

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

I leave you, not necessarily with a song, but a movie clip of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

Enjoy.

-30-

Advertisements

It’s random Friday

A Friday Haiku

Government shutdown

Trump was nowhere to be seen

Where are the adults?

It’s hard to write a haiku about a government shutdown because Continuing Resolution is eight syllables.

Weigh-In Friday

Let’s start out the week in review with some good news (to offset the angry rants toward the end).

The scale says (say that like Richard Dawson doing “Family Feud”), I lost 1.7 pounds! Yowza!

And that was all done through exercise. My diet lately is less than ideal. A homemade egg and cheese McMuffin for breakfast. Ham and cheese or PB&J sandwiches for lunch, a Siggi’s yogurt and an apple or clementine for a midday snack. And then our normal overly processed dinner, although this week was probably worse than normal, which is why that weight loss number is rather surprising.

Here’s a review of our evening meals:

Monday — chilidogs and chilifries

Tuesday — pizza from Jet’s Pizza

Wednesday — a boxed dinner similar to Chicken Helper only Velveeta’s version

Thursday — since my wife was at a work-sponsored event and it was just my teenaged son and I, we had Jeno’s Pizza Rolls (a 90 count and 40 count bag, if you’re keeping score).

Yeah, I probably just gave any nutritionists reading this nightmares.

Run, Ferret, Run

It was a good week for running. I ran last Friday, Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

After a sporadic November and December and then being laid low by bronchitis for two weeks, I’m taking it slow to get back into proper running shape. I don’t want to rush it and end up with a stress injury.

My runs at this point have been for 15 minutes at 5 mph. An easy pace that doesn’t leave me gasping for breathe.

The last three runs, I increased the time to 16 minutes, and the average pace was slowly increased by 0.1 mph increments to 5.3. Last night’s run, after I hit a mile, I increased the last five minutes of the run to 6 mph.

Tonight, I’ll increase the time to 17 minutes and set the pace to 5.5 mph.

I’m way off my personal bests of last year where I was running 5k in about 29 minutes. But as I said, although I’m impatient and chomping at the bit to get back to that faster pace (which is why I finished last night’s run at 6 mph), I know it’s best for my health if I keep taking it slow for now.

Government Shutdown and another C.R.

As a Federal employee, I’m really getting fed up with not knowing if I’ll have a job at the end of each of these Continuing Resolutions. I really wish Congress would agree to a real budget instead of kicking the can down the road every few weeks.

It’s ironic because I took my Federal job for several reasons. First, I believe in serving my country. I was a Boy Scout, in the U.S. Navy, worked part time in college for the local school system, and now I’m a Fed. Second, my work history was rather woeful. I worked for close to a dozen private companies that all folded underneath me, leaving me unemployed. The last one happened at the start of 2009 during the recession and I was unemployed for nearly two years. The longer I was unemployed, the less employable I became because my job skills were no longer “up to date.” So, I applied for a Federal position thinking it would provide job security.

Job security! That’s funny in retrospect since every end of the fiscal year we go through these rounds of failed budgets and Continuing Resolutions to keep the government funded for just a few weeks more. We’ve suffered through threats of shutdowns and actual shutdowns, the one in 2013 lasted 19 days. This one, three. And we’re looking forward to another threat on February 8th, when this C.R. ends.

Join the Federal workforce they said, it’ll be fun they said. Right, the pay is low, the benefits are shrinking, the GOP demonizes us, and there’s always the threat of losing our jobs.

Good times.

Winter Wonderland?

I don’t know how your winter is going, but ours is all screwed up. We live in Wisconsin, Milwaukee specifically. Our annual average snowfall is about 52.4 inches (133 cm) per winter. And our average high temperature in January is 28 °F (-2 °C) and the average low is 13 °F (-11 °C).

This winter, we’ve experienced a few weeks of subzero weather (Fahrenheit-wise) alternating with unusually above average temperatures.

Earlier this week it rained all day Monday, it turned to snow on Tuesday, and today they’re predicting temperatures near 50 °F (10 °C).

At one point, South Carolina had more snow from that one freak snowstorm several weeks ago than we had received all winter long.

I’m not complaining, mind you. I hate shoveling. And I have yet to need our snowblower.

Granted, we still have plenty of time. March of 2017 we were hit with a record setting snowfall totalling nearly a foot and a half of snow in some parts of the city.

So, I’ll shut up now before the Fates hear me.

Milwaukee’s Racing Sausages

For more than 25 years, the Milwaukee-based Klement Sausage Company has been synonymous with the Milwaukee Brewers’ world famous Racing Sausages.

But this year, that all changed. The Milwaukee Brewers abruptly, and without explanation, broke off negotiations, and then signed with another company. Furthermore, the Brewers completely denied Klement’s any chance to make a counter-offer or renegotiate.

It was a dick move on the part of the Milwaukee Brewers. That isn’t how you treat a 25 year working relationship.

Many fans began to speculate who the new company might be. There are a lot of great sausage companies in Wisconsin, including the other Milwaukee-based sausage maker, Usinger’s, which already has Bob Uecker, the Milwaukee Brewers’ radio announcer, as a spokesperson.

There’s also Cher-Make Sausage based out of Manitowoc, Wisconsin, the Sheboygan Bratwurst Company, and Old Wisconsin Sausage Company, just to name a few.

Did the Brewers select any of those?

Nooooo. They went with Johnsville.

Yes, that Johnsonville. The one that donates tens of thousands of dollars to the campaign fund of our crazed conservative governor, a puppet of the Koch Brothers, who slavishly passes their ALEC-influenced agenda that is ruining our state.

The Brewers couldn’t have made a worse choice. Combine that with how wretchedly they treated Klement’s in doing so, makes this a decision that will leave a bad taste in the mouths of Brewers fans for years.

To show our displeasure with the backstabbing treatment of Klement’s, Brewers fans should collectively turn their backs on the Sausage Races this year.

I know I will. They’ll always be the Klement’s Racing Sausages to me.

Last word

And that brings another week to an end. Hope you have a great weekend. Go support Klement’s sausages and boycott Johnsonville.

I think tonight I’ll grill some Klement’s sausages in our 50 °F weather to show solidarity.

I leave you, as always, with a song. Enjoy.

Resist.

-30-

Friday Roundup

A Friday Haiku

If you’re sick, stay home

That’s good advice to follow

But who gets sick leave?

It’s Flu Season

I heard a new study that shows the flu can be spread through the simple act of breathing. A person with flu doesn’t need to cough or sneeze to spread the infection, they spew their germs everywhere just by exhaling.

The recommendation from doctors? If you are sick, stay home. That way you don’t spread the infection to all your co-workers.

The problem with that advice? Who gets sick leave any more? Most people have combined leave; they only get so many hours per month for keave and they have to share it between both vacation time as well as sick time. And because of that, people are reluctant to stay home when they are sick because they don’t want to use up all their leave they were saving for a vacation to the Corn Palace.

Isn’t it time for a Federal regulation mandating every worker gets sick time, in addition to their regular leave time?

That way, when someone gets sick, they stay home and don’t infect the entire office. Isn’t paying one person to stay home cheaper than losing an entire office to the same illness? One man hour versus half a dozen or more lost man hours?

Weigh-In Friday

After taking a wrong turn with my diet and exercise regimen, I believe I’m back on track. Despite still not feeling 100%, I ran twice this week and plan to run tonight after work.

And the scale says I’m down 1.6 pounds from last week. Woot!

How to know what is the correct side of an issue?

It used to be difficult knowing which side of an issue to take. Both sides often had reasoned, well thought out arguments to persuade you their side is the correct one. You had to determine where you stood using logic and critical thinking skills.

And even when you made a decision, you could still be swayed to the other side by intelligent, cogent debate or when presented new facts about the subject.

But in today’s political climate, all that has changed. Now it’s a very simple matter to make a decision, to form an opinion, and to choose where you stand on an issue.

It’s incredible how simple it is.

Just look at any issue, even one you know absolutely nothing about and all you have to do is figure out where trump stands on that issue, and then you take the exact opposite view.

For example, DACA. He wants to end it, therefore, the correct position is to be for seeing it continue.

The recent GOP tax plan that passed. He supported it, therefore the correct stance was to be against it.

Net Neutrality. He wanted to end it, therefore the correct position is to support it’s continuation.

By following this simple advice, you will always be on the correct side of the issue, any issue, every single time.

Now I’m not saying that you no longer need to be informed or educated on political issues, civics, and current events. On the contrary, an informed and intelligent electorate is needed to battle the current fascist regime ignorance (and an archaic Electoral College) installed.

The Resistance will only succeed by staying on top of current events and by making our voices heard.

The Fake News Awards

Look, I hate giving the orange turd and his ignorant paranoid views any additional coverage, but the very thought of a (fake) President furthering his own anti-American agenda by discrediting legitimate news outlets should appall every American, regardless of political affiliation.

The orange turd is doing what every totalitarian regime has done throughout history, and continues to do to this day, trying to keep the public uninformed and in the dark about what he is really doing, which is betraying our allies, cuddling up with our biggest enemy, Russia, and tearing down all our rights, freedoms, and protections to create an elitist oligarchy that will only benefit his own greedy self-interests. He is trampling upon the Constitution of the United States, the Bill of Rights, and everything that makes this country great.

His Fake News Awards are just another step in that process. By delegitimizing the Fourth Estate, and legitimizing the hateful white supremicists at Breitbart and FoxNews, he is trying to establish an official state news organization similar to the Soviet Union’s communist-controlled Pravda.

He must be stopped. We must continue to resist. We cannot allow the normalization of hatred, bigotry, racism, homophobia, and sexism to continue unabated.

We must, all of us, continue to stand vigilant against the approaching oppression and fascism. Evil, like cockroaches, scurries for cover when exposed to the light of truth.

Final Word

I apologize. I didn’t mean to get that heavy-handed with my post, but sometimes you can’t help but shout in anger and frustration when faced with the continual onslaught of negative hate-filled news from the White House.

Therefore, I’ll try to keave younwith an upbeat happy song. And no, it’s not “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” or even “Happy.”

This one is somewhat okd school:

This one is more recent, even if it does seem like a tourist jingle:

Enjoy and have a good weekend.

Keep resisting. And stay healthy.

-30-

Must we review this week?

NOTE: For some reason WordPress posted a duplicate of this blog post. One filled with typos. I deleted it. Unfortunately, that was the one that had the most likes.

It’s Friday and you know what that means. Right. A haiku.

A Friday Haiku

It’s been a long week

Trump displayed more ignorance

We all need a drink

Running pride

My oldest son has recently begun running regularly on the treadmill. As a running father, I was pleased to see it. I never made him run. Haven’t had any discussions about running. He just one day started.

I asked him once how far or fast he would run and he gave me a shrug that he didn’t know. Not that it matters, I was just being nosey.

I did notice he was running in an old pair of Asics I had given him years ago and had been his regular street shoes. So, I sacrificed my newer pair of Brooks Adrenaline GTS 17 that I alternated running with my Hoka One One Clifton 3.

After all, a good pair of running shoes is essential to staying injury-free.

Maybe I’ll bring my Runner’s Worlds home from work and see if he wants to read them.

Weigh-In Friday

I didn’t.

Well, not officially. I didn’t use my phone app to record it, but I did sneak a peak. I’m down 1.2 pounds.

I need to eat oatmeal fir breakfast more often. I had it on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Yesterday and today I made a bacon, egg, and cheese English muffin sandwich.

And maybe salads for lunch next week.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

As part of a team-building exercise, we took a Myers-Briggs personality assessment. I received my results and, not surprisingly, I’m a INTP.

First, they have things split up into four groupings. Extraversion/Introversion, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. To various degrees, we all fall into one or the other of those pairings within those four.

As an INTP, my preferences are Introversion, Intuition, Thinking, and Perceiving. My snapshot reads “INTPs are rational, curious, theoretical, and abstract, prefering to organize ideas rather than situations or people. They enjoy working alone with ample autonomy for their own ideas and methods.”

Pretty much. I’ve always been introverted and curious.

A couple things that I found interesting. It said, “Thinking is yiur favorite process, the one you use most frequently. It is used in the inner world.” That’s very true. And it’s probably why I write.

The other interesting thing was, “If you are stressed, you may Become opinionated and unwilling to change your point of view.” I do, especially arguing with someone on-line. “Have unexpected and uncontrolled emotional outbursts.” I thought that was because of my ADHD? “Be hypersensitive to suspected slights.” Yes, I’ve not spoken to people for months. “Take criticism very personally.” Which is why story rejections put me into a fetal position for weeks.

In a couple weeks, we meet as a team with the Interpreter to go over our results. Should be interesting.

But if I’m being honest, I’m not sure how accurate something like this is. I mean, sure, it’s much more believable than astrology or numerology, and probably more accurate than an Internet meme, like, “Which Star Trek Captain are you?” But compared to a real assessment by a real psychologist? I don’t know.

Another Haiku

Nero fiddled, Rome burned

Marie said, “Let them eat cake.”

Trump golfs and tweets hate

About Upon Reflection

When I began this blog many years ago, I wanted it to be a fun place, where I’d think (see Myers-Biggs above) and reflect upon the day’s events, society, writing, entertainment, and other things that interested me.

In college back in the 80s and early 90s, I wrote a weekly opinin column for the smaller conservative newspaper and it was called, “Upon Reflection.” Why the conservative paper? Because the larger, campus-sponsored one, the UWM Post (yes, we had to fund ourselves) had so large a writing staff they couldn’t guarantee anything you wrote would make the paper.

Whereas the UWM Times was just starting out and you could pretty much pick your own assignment. For a long time, I covered the UWM Police beat. Then I moved into production, laying out the entire paper.

I had approached the founding editor early on about doing an opinion column, like Mike Royko, or locally, like Joel McNally at the daily Milwaukee Journal or Art Kumbulek at the more liberal independent Sheperd Express (sadly, they’ve since corrected the spelling). Well, the UWM Times board at the time didn’t think I was conservative enough (oddly enough, when I contacted the Sheperd Express to work for them, they said I was too conservative). I wasn’t interested in politics then so I wasn’t really liberal or conservative.

It wasn’t until they all graduated that I used my tenure (ok, I threatened to not do the layout any more and since I was the only one who understood Ventura Publisher, they capitulated) to get my own column.

I wrote an extreme caricature of an angry conservative, at first. For example, my very first column was about instituting a death penalty for people who won’t get off welfare. My tone pleased the founding board and my column became very popular, but it also generated a lot of hate. I was even challenged to a duel once, except he didn’t leave his name or a contact number. That would have been fun.

Eventually, it evolved a moderate slant where I’d sarcastically slam both sides of an issue. Playing both sides against the middle was more interesting.

I’m sorry, I forgot my point. Anyway, I didn’t want this blog to become a political rant, liberal or conservative, and until last year, I had succeeded.

But then America’s toilet backed-up and out came a slimy orange turd and we didn’t have a plunger big enough to clear the vile obstruction of hate, ignorance, and bigotry that resulted.

And with a racist asshole in the White House spewing an average of three lies per day, I have no choice but to write about politics. The only way to fight cockroaches is to keep the light shining on them.

And lucky you, I’ve run out of time for an orange turd update. I wanted to talk about his ignoring Puerto Rico, how he set a new record for the number of lies told in one week, 40 (and he averages 3 lies per day since January 20th), the GOP tax plan to gut funding to Medicare and Medicaid, as well as some other vile shit our current Congress has committed.

Sorry.

We’ve almost reached the weekend

Have a great weekend, or as good a one you can. I leave you with two songs to get the weekend started.

This first one is gypsy punk! How can you not love that?

And the second song, I’ve rewritten some alternative lyrics for the chorus for you to enjoy. It takes a bit of work to match the song’s timing, but in no time you’ll be singing it loudly for all to hear.

Wish we could turn back time

To the good dope days

When we had a Prez

Who cared and was intelligent

-30-

Wrap a wrap a wrap

A Friday Haiku

Another week gone

Where do they go? I don’t know

To join dryer socks?

Exercises come and go

If you’re anything like me (and if you are, I apologize), you tend to hate certain exercises and quickly get bored with others.

Running, I’m good to go, even if I sometimes take more days off between runs than I should; I still look forward to my runs and enjoy them (well, except for those first several minutes where you question your own sanity and wonder why you torture yourself so until the endorphins hit, the sun comes out, and the birds sing).

But other exercises I’ve always hated.

Stretching has always been my ultimate nemesis. I could neven touch my toes in grade school (and still can’t). So any stretching regimen I start ends quickly in pain and frustration. I don’t need such negativity in my life. I get it, I’m a failure at flexibility.

Push-ups are another. Loathe them. I don’t know what it is about them, but I really have to force myself to do them. Bench presses, on the other hand, I don’t mind and in fact, when I can feel the burn in my chest, shoulders, and triceps, I become motivated to do extra reps. But push-ups, I just collapse on the floor and give up.

Sit-ups and crunches I hate as well, and not because they sometimes hurt my back. I always need something to hook my feet under or I just sort of thrash away like a turtle on its back. In high school gym it was very embarrassing.

And that must be the reason for my dislike of certain exercises, there is some sort of psychological association with high school gym where all the other boys were towering over me, muscles rippling (think The Crusher from Bugs Bunny), and they could pound out dozens of push-ups, sit-ups, as well as the dreaded chin-up, and throw in an iron cross for good measure, while I’d struggle with my skinny spaghetti limbs trembling and flailing around, never accomplishing anything.

Now that I think about it, high school gym class was exactly like that for me.

Anyway, I meant to talk about how I start doing some exercises, but then quickly forget to do them, but I got off on a tangent on why I skipped gym all the time.

I was noticing a pain or weakness in my hamstrings and buttock the last few weeks when I step up onto something, like curbs or stairs.

Running was causing a strength imbalance and the stretches I attempted weren’t helping.

I realized I had gotten away from doing hamstring curls on my Weider Crossbow and doing rows on my CardioFit. I call them rows, but the machine is like the Tony Little Healthrider (see below).

These machines were all the rage back in the 80s, so I picked mine up at Sears after our stairstepper died (and Sears wouldn’t do anything so I wrote the CEO, then got a whiny letter from the store manager. “Why didn’t you contact me first?” Because I wanted you to squirm). The Healthrider seems more aerobic, with little resistance. My CardioFit has an adjustable piston to increase the resistence, making it more anerobic, although I’ve rarely dialed it past 2 (it goes up to a muscle- and joint-punishing 9).

Sorry, I did it again. The point is, after a week of this cross-training, my hamstrings feel much better.

And I apologize for taking forever to make that point.

Writing and editing and sex

I’d say I’m about 80 to 85% done with my first round of edits for my urban fantasy fairy tale.

This is the first time I’ve read it through. Strangely, I’m still very excited about it. That must mean it’s horrible.

Right now I’m editing for flow and continuity. I see where I called one character Bill, when his name is Benton. That’s what happens when you grab scenes from a trunk novel and don’t do a thorough read to catch things like that.

I’m back to a concern I mentioned several weeks or months ago about the relationship between two of the characters. They’ve known each other for less than a week and they’ve already fallen in love. Yes, I know such things happen in real life, if infrequently. And yes, I’ve read some urban fantasy romances and it seems the characters are jumping in the sack almost immediately. And therefore, I shouldn’t be that worried, but I am.

I’ve never written anything romantic before. I’ve never been concerned with the love lives of my characters. But beyond this being my first attempt at romance, its also my first attempt at writing a sex scene. To be honest, I haven’t even read very many sex scenes.

And this one has two so far. Scenes that, lacking any literary experience in the matter, I don’t know if they come off as hokie, or cliched, or downright boring.

I wonder if I should pass it to some beta readers to get outside reactions?

Weigh-In Friday

Despite only running on Monday, although I did do some weight training, and eating more than my fair share of my wife’s Dairy Queen ice cream birthday cake, my weight is down below 200 pounds at 199.7. Woot!

Designated Driver

For you couples out there, when you go somewhere together, who drives? The man or the woman?

I grew up in a time when men were the drivers and women were passengers.

Lately, I’ve been noticing more women driving with men as passengers and it still looks out of place to me.

Not for any sexist reasons; I certainly don’t believe gender innately makes someone a better or worse driver. Nor do I believe men are somehow ordained to rule over or control women.

In my case, I drive because for one thing, I get carsick as a passenger. For another, I drive my wife crazy because I don’t know what to do with myself as a passenger. I can’t read or play on my phone because of the motion sickness. So, I fidget, tap my feet, or drum my fingers, play with all the dials and switches, and constantly change the radio station. Being a passenger magnifies my ADHD.

So, very early in our relationship, my wife realized it was better for everyone all around if she let me drive.

Then she could read and play on her phone and ignore the fact that I wait until the very last second before applying the brakes.

Finally nearing the end

Since I spent most of this blog going off on attention deficit fueled tangents, I’ll spare you any political rants for the week.

TheRump is still an orange turd though. Never forget. Never normalize his hatred, bigotry, or incivility. Resist.

Enjoy your weekend. Here’s a song to send you off with:

-30-

Random Friday

Just a few random thoughts for a Friday, none of which deserve their own blog post.

Public Service Announcement

Before you put on your shoes, tie them tight, and head out for your run, a word of advice: ALWAYS CHECK THE INSIDE OF YOUR SHOES FOR DEBRIS!

Especially if you have cats who like to push things off the dresser where they land inside your shoe or you have dogs who are messy eaters and when they bite into a hard treat pieces go flying everywhere, including into your shoe.

Said foreign object becomes very painful after a mile or so and it starts to work it’s way underfoot.

Now maybe unlike me, you’ll stop running, take your shoe off, and shake it out. But if you are like me, you’ll keep running, wincing in pain each time the object that feels like a huge rock (but turned out to be just a small eighths inch piece of dog treat) slips under your big toe.

That Extra Shoelace Hole

I just found out what that extra lace hole in my running shoes is for. Yes, for lacing. Smartass. What I mean is, how to correcrly use that extra hole. Everyone else probably already knew what it’s for and I’m just late to the party, but in case you’re one of those who missed the memo as well, then read on.

My heels tend to slip in my shoes. I don’t know why, maybe because I buy one whole size larger shoe than my foot size so my toes don’t get mashed against the toe box like they do if I only get a half size larger.

Onward. Here is what that extra lace hole is for: to make your shoe fit around your ankle (and in the process, your heel) more snuggly and with minimal slippage. The technique is called the “Heel Lock” amd you start by threading the lace back through that last hole (so the lace is now inside the shoe) forming a loop between the last two hokes, then pass the right lace through the left loop and the left lace through the right loop, cinch it tight by pulling donward, and tie it like normal. Now you’re on your merry way with no heel slippage. (The only drawback is, now your shoes are harder to get off. A fair tradeoff if it prevents heel blisters or premature wearing out of your socks or the material inside the shoe’s heel itself.)

Here’s a video that demonstrates it better than I probably explained it.

That extra Shoelace Hole in action

The Fly

No, not the movie, although if I were to discuss it, I’d have to expound upon how superior the original with David Heddison was in every way: story, acting, dramatic suspense, compared  to the dreadful Jeff Goldbloom remake, which was just gross.

Warning: The following may be TMI for the more delicate flowers among you.

No, I’m talking flies in men’s underwear, or the lack of them in some men’s underwear. A month or so ago, needing new underwear, I stopped at TJ Max. I was looking for something thinner, lighter, and more breathable than cotton. Active wear, I guess it’s called, because I do a lot of mall walking during the day. Something along the lines of compression-like shorts, except as everyday underwear.

I found an inexpensive pair by RBX Active that seemed to fit the bill. Except when I took them out of the package, I realized they didn’t have a fly, which I found odd because I thought all men’s underwear had a fly.

Not having one makes them nearly useless for everyday wear. I mean, men urinate standing up. We don’t undo our belts, open our pants and pull them down. We’re not kids any more learning how to use the urinal. We only unzip our pants, reach in, and fish out our yahoo through the underwear hole. Without one, there’s all this extra yanking and tugging and painful maneuverings going on as you try to pull down these flyless wonders through the zipper opening. No one wants that, it just attracts unwanted attention. Men are all about going in, doing their bizness, and.getting out without any conversation or eye contact.

On the one hand, sure the RBX, made of lycra or other synthetics, are very comfortable, they dont bunch up, they breathe and I guess wick away sweat. They’re very good for exercising in. But not to pee in. Or through, rather. So I use them for running.

Still needing everyday underwear, I went back and picked up a pair of their flied underwear. Seemingly the same material, the same size, but when I got home and tried them on, they were too tight. They had a different cut and the wasitband didnt ride at the same height as the other pair by RBX did yet they were the same size. Yup, I double-checked the package. Same company. Same stated size. Totally different fit. For some reason these were like bikini briefs compared to the other ones.

Which begs the question: if there is such a size disparity even within a manufacturer’s own line, why can’t we try them on before we buy?

Belay that. The very thought that someone else’s nutsack was getting all jiggy with the underwear I just bought makes me squeemish.

So I’m still looking for new underwear. And I’m finding that a lot of them don’t have a fly. I don’t get it. In my experience, the only underwear that was flyless were those embarrassing jockstraps we had to wear in high school gym. Maybe it’s because I’m looking at the type more for athletic use instead of your traditional tighty-whiteys or your grandfather’s boxers? I don’t know.

But here’s the interesting thing. I was looking at Puma brand underwear and making sure they had a fly, when I noticed the flied ones were labeled “with keyhole.”

Keyhole? That’s great! I’m going to refer to the fly as a keyhole from now on.

/End TMI Warning

Friday Weigh-in

I weighed myself today. Friday has always been my normal weigh-in until I became enamoured with all the cool features of our new smart scale.

Well, if you remember Tuesday’s blog post, I was whining I had gained 2.6 pounds over the weekend.

Well, today? I’m back on track. I lost that 2.6 pounds I had gained.

And the.moral of that story is: Only weigh yourself once a week. Pick a day of the week, Friday in my case, and weigh yourself that day only!

You’ll save yourself a lot of grief and time spent writing angry blog posts.

Lace up. Go run.

-30-

The lost weekend

I had a bad weekend. I gained 2.6 pounds.

Should I throw in the towel? Give up? Become angry and depressed over that?

Or should I just take the setback in stride? Refocus on what’s really important, like where I’ll be down the road instead of worrying if I’ll fit into that cute bikini for this upcoming season? Well, since I’m a guy I’d probably look silly in a bikini, so that isn’t the point.

The point is, when you suffer a setback in the short term, you should refocus on your long term goals. When you look at your overall progress, where you were and where you want to be, that 2.6 pound gain will appear to be nothing more than a tiny temporary blip on the entire weight loss graph.

I admit, there are times when it gets frustrating. For instance, when someone says they lost 50 almost overnight, you can’t help but compare. Why has it taken me over 2 years to lost 30 pounds and they did it like that? (Snap your fingers.)

You need to focus on the fact that you lost 30 pounds and not how long it took. That deserves congratulations, not chastisement.

Comparisons are self-defeating. People have different metabolisms. Some lose weight easier while others struggle. Accept that fact and move on.

I work with a guy who was overweight and now he’s not. He did it with an extremely restrictive diet, denying himself all foods that weren’t considered healthy.

If someone brought in donuts to work for their birthday, he wouldn’t eat one.

Wouldn’t. Eat. One!

That’s crazy talk. One donut won’t kill you.

Neither will one bad weekend of fast food and over snacking.

You’re not an idiot, just human

Face it, we all fail from time to time. We sneak that donut. Eat nearly a whole bag of Xtreme Cheddar Goldfish (guilty!). Go on vacation and enjoy all sorts of good foods. Overeat during the holidays.
Everyone except that guy at work, but then he’s always Grumpy and has become a judgemental asshole. “You’re not going to eat that, are you?” “Do you how many calories are in that?” 

Don’t be an asshole.

Treat yourself once in a while. There is no ice cream in Heaven, that’s why we eat it here. Just don’t overdo it.

And when you stumble, pick yourself back up and continue down your path as if nothing happened. Don’t look around to see if anyone saw, their opinion shouldn’t matter.

This is why you shouldn’t check your weight obsessively. I used to check it only once a week on our old mechanical scale so I probably wouldn’t even have known I had trended upward when I finally checked on Friday. That’s my fault for getting a cool new smart scale with a phone app that shows me all my stats. I need to focus on just the Friday readings, as I did before. 

Don’t let one misstep derail your whole program. Think of it this way, sure you might fit into that cute bikini this summer, but if that was your only goal, you’ll just yo-yo back up over the winter and be stressing again next spring.

Think about the long term and how good you’ll look next year and the year after that and about all those nice outfits you’ll be able to fit in for the rest of your life.

I just purchased a cool pair of running tights, something I never would have even thought about 10 years ago. And no, I’m not posting any pictures. 

Stay focused. Think long term. Don’t give up. Don’t be an asshole.
Side note: I had to completely rewrite this entire article because, as I discovered, if you don’t put in a title when you’re writing using the phone app, it forgets the entire post when you close the app. I reopened it to continue editing and it was gone! I could have given up and not posted anything today, but I didn’t. I rewrote the entire thing from scratch. You’re welcome.

-30-