End of an era

What happens when a city loses its heart?

The Boston Store, Milwaukee’s last great department store and the last link to the past greatness of Milwaukee’s once bustling and vibrant downtown, is gone.

Bon Ton, the owner of Boston Store, Yonkers Carsons, and other retail stores, is liquidating.

It is still hoped that someone will buy their inventory and save the once great Milwaukee landmark, The Boston Store, unfortunately however, that is the merest breath of a hope.

The city of Milwaukee had thrown millions of dollars at The Boston Store to help it survive and keep it downtown, but that was just wishful thinking.

This is most likely the death nell of not only The Boston Store, but of department stores everywhere. Once, like the proud bison of the American plains, they were everywhere, thundering across our consciousness.

You couldn’t throw a snowball in downtown Milwaukee without hitting one of these majestic giants. They were Amazon before there ever was an Internet.

Our downtown thrived because of these flagship retail stores. Beautiful edifices dedicated to Gimbel’s, T.A. Chapman’s, Schusters, Epenhains, J.C. Penny, Woolworths and more graced the streets all veying for our shopping dollars.

And they were all successful. Milwaukee’s downtown was bustling with humanity. Well-dressed people strolled up and down the Grand Avenue, now Wisconsin Avenue, shopping. The streets were filled with cars looking for a space to park.

Now the streets are deserted in comparison to those days of the mid-twentieth century.

But downtown isn’t the only place experiencing this hole in its economy due to the loss of the department store, malls everywhere also are losing their anchor stores that once drew hordes of shoppers.

Sears recently closed here, and now soon The Boston Store will be gone, leaving vacant buildings filled only with the echoes of memories while mall managements everywhere scramble to fill these large empty spaces at the ends of their malls.

Just a few weeks ago I blogged about how The Boston Store downtown had shrunk from owning a massive many-storied building covering nearly an entire city block to becoming just a tiny tenant within it.

I didn’t think I’d be writing their obituary so soon.

Good bye, The Boston Store. We had some grand times, didn’t we?

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Netflix reboots Lost in Space

First, let me warn you, this contains spoilers.

Second, you need to understand this isn’t your father’s Lost in Space (in my case, I am your father, so this isn’t the LiS I grew up with). I liken this remake to the remake of Battlestar Galactica. The original BG was silly, yet a fun, lighthearted romp through the galaxy trying to find home while attacked by silvery robots with strobing eyes and cool voices. The remake was grittier and darker.

The same with LiS. The original was sometimes a silly, light-hearted, sickly-sweet pull-at-your-heartstrings family melodrama, that was still a fun adventure as they traveled through space trying to find Alpha-Centauri. And this new version is grittier and darker with a dysfunctional family.

Let’s compare the characters.

John Robinson. In the original, he’s Zorro and Father Knows Best rolled into one. He always has a great family speach ready after he just kicked some alien’s ass.

The new John Robinson is a U.S. Marine, but is a little self-absorbed, not very family-oriented, and is essentially a stranger to his wife and kids.

Maureen Robinson. June Lockhart was the all-American mom and essentially played the same apron-wearing, hand-wringing character she did in Lassie, merely swapping a collie for a robot, and spends every episode worrying about what sort of trouble her son and robot were getting into.

The new Mrs. Robonson seems a little angry, a little cold, and very much in charge where her family is concerned (and who can blame her since John seems like a selfish dick). She gets things done even if it means selling government secrets if she thinks it’s what’s best for her family (in this case, having Will’s rejection status to go to the new colony changed).

Judy Robinson. The original Judy was just eye-candy. Her part was to blend into the background, when she wasn’t helping her mom with domestic chores or being the love interest to Don West. Her and her sister Penny were often damsels-in-distress.

The new Judy is from Maureen’s previous marriage and is intelligent, is a doctor, and very self-sufficient and self-assured. When the Jupiter 2 sinks deep into glacial waters, John demands Will to jump in to get a battery pack they need to survive because Will is small-enough to fit in a hatch that was partially jammed open. Will is terrified, so Judy jumps in to both protect Will and to show her step-father up (or to show him she exists). The action almost gets her killed but it shows her head-strong attitude.

Penny Robinson. The original Penny was an annoying, whiny girl whose only purpose seemed to be the target of Will’s brotherly misogyny, “Girls!” She spent most of her time with the women being subservient to the men.

New Penny is a feisty red-head with a wonderfully sarcastic personality. When she gets it into her head that something needs to be done, she does it, consequences be damned. At one point, her parents are off exploring, having given orders to Judy and her to stay put. When she sees an impending storm heading where her parents are, she takes it upon herself to assemble the chariot and rush to their rescue. Easily my most favorite character.

Will Robinson. The original was a precocious child prodigy, and really, just a little too unbelievable for a 9-year-old. He was the focal point of the whole show. He and the robot were the main characters, always getting into some sort of jam because of Will’s curiosity.

New Will so far seems to think before acting, is aware of the dangers, and is a little more hesitant to rush headlong into a situation. He also acts more like his age, being afraid of situations he doesn’t understand or are out of his control. In other words, he’s a little more believable than old Will.

Don West. The original West was hot-tempered, ready to fight, and served no purpose on the flight except as pilot, or co-pilot as John always seemed in charge. He was also the only one on board who never trusted anything Dr. Smith did, unlike the rest of the family who all seemed to have short-term memory.

New West is scoundrel. He’s a mechanic and a petty smuggler. He is very much a narcissist, but despite his bad boy exterior, he is caring. He takes care of a chicken he saved from the crash, and later, despite the danger it puts him into, he carries an unconscious survivor over rough terrain to safety.

Dr. Smith. The original was a saboteur who became trapped on the Jupiter 2. His character slowly transformed from selfish and uncaring, willing to put everyone else’s life at risk just so he could return home into a selfish, uncaring, yet silly characture of himself.

The new Dr. Smith is a criminal on Earth, ineligible to be a member of the colonists heading to Alpha-Centauri and start a new life. Her real name is June Harris. She drugs her own sister and steals her identity to join the colonists. She makes it successfully onboard until her sister’s boy friend discovers who she is, threatens to expose her, and she promptly ejects him into space. In other words, she’s selfish and uncaring, willing to do anything (even commit murder and leave people to die) to achieve her own ends.

The Robot. The original robot, the B-9 Environmental Control robot, was programmed by saboteur Smith to destroy the Jupiter 2. “Crush! Kill! Destroy!” (One wonders why an environmental control robot would have such destructive military-capabilities in the first place). In later episodes, thanks to Will, the robot became sweet and lovable and protective of the family, except when Dr. Smith rewires him.

The new robot. It’s an alien robot, not something provided to the Robinsons for their journey. Will finds it after becoming separated from his father and getting caught in the middle of a forest fire. The robot is broken, torn in half when its own ship crashed, and is dying. Will helps it and in turn, it helps Will, even uttering the famous expression, “Danger. Will Robinson.” The robot then goes on to help Judy from her predicament (she was frozen in ice trying to bring back the battery pack), helps the family get the Jupiter 2 back into working order, and so on.

The premise. The original premise was the Robonsons were going to be the first family to colonize Alpha-Centauri. Why just one family? Who knows, but they were elected, and would spend the entire trip in suspended animation until they reached their destination. Dr. Smith programmed the robot to destroy the ship (never really explained why), but the ship blasts off before he can make his escape. The robot wakes up and starts smashing things, and because Dr. Smith can’t stop it, he wakes everyone up to help him. The robot’s rampage sends them zipping wildly off-course and out of control, unable to correct their course, becoming Lost, in space.

The new premise. Spoilers alert! Instead of just one colonist family, there is a whole colony of people seeking a new life on Alpha-Centauri, but only those who test in as worthy can go, while those left behind get to die from an impending extinction event on Earth. The Robinsons are but one family among many. They get to leave on the 24th colony ship. (The Jupiter crafts are essentially used as transport vessels to the planet’s surface once they reach their destination and also as their homes once there).

John is on another deployment when he gets a call from Maureen wanting him to sign permission slips for the kids to join the colony, without him. John, somehow, ends his deployment early and shows up at home, really pissing Maureen off, who wanted to start a new life without him.

Once in space, the colony mother ship is attacked by aliens, robots like the one Will finds and tames, and the Jupiters are ejected so they can reach safety. In the confusion, June/Dr. Smith escapes detention, meets the real Dr. Smith (played by Bill Mumy), who is wounded and needs help. She pretends to help him, but only steals his coat and I.D. She attempts to get on-board a Jupiter when she meets Don West and his companion. Don naively helps her into the Jupiter, and Smith invites them along realizing she has no training in flying. The escaping Jupiters end up crashing millions of light years from Alpha-Centaur. Now the surviving colonists must find each other to survive because they’re all lost, in space.

We learn much of this through flashbacks as the series progresses. In the first episode we know nothing of what’s going on as we first meet the Robinsons nonchalantly (or so it seems) playing a game of Go Fish.

Then all Hell breaks loose and doesn’t let up as the Robinsons go from one danger to the next, complete with episode ending cliff-hangers, just like the original.

Final Thoughts.

As I said in the beginning, this isn’t your father’s Lost in Space. In many ways, it’s so much better. For one thing, it has stunning special effects and breathtaking landscapes.

Now, I loved the original series. I was eight when the show debuted. There was no other show like it at the time. The ship, flying through space, the laser weapons, aliens (even if somewhat cheesy), and the robot all sparked my imagination unlike anything had up until that time.

I still have a soft spot for that show. And I often get very upset when someone remakes something I used to love as a child and turns it into a complete mockery of the original (intentioned or not) as if they had never watched an episode. I can think of several movies that angered me no end, such as Wild,Wild West, Dark Shadows, and Starsky and Hutch. Those movies were lampoonish and offended me.

This reboot, however, doesn’t do that. It doesn’t seem like a cash grab at the expense of our childhood memories.

In many ways, while it’s a completely new, and updated version, it is also an homage (complete with Easter eggs) to the original. The real name of the Dr. Smith character, for instance, June Harris is a nod to the original Dr. Smith actor, Jonathan Harris. At one point, Don West is wearing a flight jacket with “Goddard” embroidered on it, a nod to the original actor Mark Goddard. Plus, if you listen carefully, you’ll catch some refrains from the original show’s music score, which had been written by the great John Williams.

At first blush, the new LiS might seem dark and cold with unlikable characters but as the series progresses however, they flesh-out, we learn their motivations, and they become more of a real caring family, with heart-warming moments, and we begin to see that this new show also has it’s own charms.

I’m enjoying it and I hope it has a successful run.

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Random Randomness on a Friday

A Friday Haiku

Rain rain go away

And you had better not freeze,

No ice ice baby!

Weigh-In Friday

Good news. I lost two pounds.

*Does the happy weight loss dance*

Now if I could only figure out what I did different this week from last. Although, I did buy a medicine ball and I’ve been doing various exercises for my core with it.

Writing and OCD

I don’t know if I really have OCD, but I have ADHD-induced obsessiveness.

I’m refering to yesterday’s blog where I mentioned I was sinking into a research quagmire because I felt a scene needed a humorous anecdote to balance a tense moment where my MC is combating a demon, specifically the Egyptian demon Ammit, the devourer.

Have I completed the research and continued with my almost finished edits on my novel so I can start having it beta read?

No. To show just how obsessive I can be about being as factual and historically accurate in my fiction, even an urban fatasy faerie tale, I’m reading the entire text of “The Egyptian Book of the Dead.”

Just so I can write one short paragraph.

Tell me that’s normal behavior and all writers do the same thing.

Please?

Wisconsin is rejoicing

Yes, Wisconsin is rejoicing, or at least the intelligent part is.

Paul Ryan, who has represented Wisconsin’s first congressional district, is retiring.

What will the legacy be of Ryan’s 20 year career in Washington? One of complete and utter failure.

Looming largest for the people of Wisconsin was his total inability to prevent the closure of the Janesville GM plant, which had provided significant employment to the area for 90 years.

Ryan will also be remembered for not having the balls to stand up against Trumpy the Clown with his insane outbursts and unpredictable shifts on every position that have made the United States a laughing stock to the rest of the world and has put us on the brink of nuclear war against two countries, so far.

Ryan, who for 20 years was touted as the Republican’s budget wunderkind despite never being able to pass one of his budgets, will now be remembered as the architect of the most financially ruinous budget ever passed, one that screws the middle class, widens the gap between the rich and the poor, all while crearing a fiscal conservative’s worst nightmare of an out-of-control deficit reaching record heights never before imagined.

Good riddance to bad rubbish, as they say. May Kharma make Ryan’s retirement as financially uncertain and and terrifyingly insecure as those of the elderly he has screwed, and tried to screw, over the years.

Once more for those in the back, social security insurance and Medicare are not entitlements, they are benefits we pay into throughout our working life.

Paul Ryan will not be missed.

Smart missiles, stupid leader

On April 11th, Trumpy the Clown tweeted: Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!

The next day, he then tweeted: Never said when an attack on Syria would take place. Could be very soon or not so soon at all! In any event, the United States, under my Administration, has done a great job of ridding the region of ISIS. Where is our “Thank you America?”

Wow. Trumpy the Clown sure has Russia guessing now, doesn’t he? “Will he? Won’t he? Golly gosh! The suspense is unnerving.”

When Trumpy’s lawyer had his office raided and files detained, Trumpy went on a twitter rant: “Attorney-Client privilesge is dead!” and “A TOTAL WITCH HUNT!!!”

He’s also ranted about his wall, about sending National Guard troops to the border, how our relations with Russia are the worst ever because of Meuller and the “Fake and Corrupt Russia Investigation.”

And today he’s ranting about Comey, calling him a “proven LEAKER & LIAR,” how everyone in Washington thought he should be fired (at least every one of the voices in Trumpy’s head, anyway), and so on and so forth.

Anyone else see the striking resemblance to Captain Queeg from “The Caine Mutiny?” Trumpy the Clown is sinking deeper and deeper into an arrogant, self-possessed, delusional paranoia. I predict he will soon tweet: Aah, but the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that Crooked Hillary, that leaker Comey, the conflicted Meuller, and the Fake News are all out to get me and ruin America! But the people know I’m great… the best President… better than the failed Obama!

Sad!

It’s sad that we allow him to destroy the dignity of the office of the President of the United States and our country’s standing among the world community.

Forget impeachment.

Guys! The 25th Amendment is there for a reason: to rid ourselves of unstable, dangerous people like Trumpy the Clown.

Last word

It’s the weekend. It should be Spring, but it isn’t. Not that I’ve ever really seen a Spring here in Wisconsin. Maybe once, back in the 1960s, I think we may have had a real Spring with warming weather, April showers, and May flowers.

Either that, or I have a false memory courtesy of Al Jolson.

I do know that for as long as my wife and I have lived where we can plant flowers around the house, which is about 20 years, we’ve experienced a May where the ground was thawned enough and there was no danger of a killing frost to allow us to plant only a handful of times.

Despite my haiku suggesting otherwise, I’m never surprised or disappointed when it’s still cold in April or May. This is Wisconsin. Wisconsin doesn’t care what season your calendar says it should be.

Therefore, this weekend’s forecast of freezing rain, snow, ice, and a winter weather advisory is just par for the course.

Enjoy your weekend no matter what the weather.

Keep resisting.

And, as always, a song.

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A belated Writing Wednesday

Yes, I know it’s actually Thursday, but calling this Tachygraphy Thursday or even Teleautography Thursday don’t have the same ring as Writing Wednesday.

Anyway, I just wanted to share something that will demonstrate what a dope I can be while writing.

I’m closing in on the final edits. I’m down to the last 50 pages. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m finally nearing the finish line.

And then this happens:

If you recall, this is my urban fantasy fairy tale novel, so it has magic, gods, demons, faeries …

Oh! Speaking of faeries, the characters in the know — the ones familiar with the supernatural and cryotozoology — always call them faeries, spelled with the E. On the other hand, when mere mortals talk about them, with a smirk because they know they don’t exist, they say, fairies, with an I.

Will changing the spelling back and forth like that confuse the reader? Should I go with one common spelling?

OK, tangent over. The novel is filled with mythological beings and references to ancient historical sorcerers and philosophers, blah blah blah.

I’m at a point where my MC is being attacked by an Egyptian mythological creature and he has to remember a passage from the Egyptian Book of the Dead to save himself. As I’m editing, it suddenly occurs to me that the scene could use a humorous reference to why the MC would remember said passage in the first place. Therefore, I’m creating a short anecdote about how and why a certain ancient Egyptian magician/philosopher taught it to him.

But I don’t know the names of any ancient Egyptian magicians!

Now, instead of completing my edits so I can send it out to beta readers, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of research.

(A gasp can be heard in the audience.)

Yes. Research!

And it looks like finishing edits today isn’t going to happen.

Tomorrow doesn’t look so promising either.

Anyone have any names of ancient Egyptian philosophers/sorcerers/priests they could throw my way?

Otherwise, I’ll be making a run to the library on my lunch hour.

Thanks.

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Restoring faith

My son wanted a sharp karambit. (That’s one of those wacky curved knives with a circle on one end for your pinky, I guess so you can twirl it in a knife fight.) He has a couple inexpensive ones, but they are difficult to sharpen and/or keep sharp because their blades are made of some generic stainless steel.

I thought I’d look around and find him a decent one. A short search brought up a new karambit manufactured by the Ontario Knife Company, or OKC, an American knife manufacturer out of Naples, NY (residing in Ontario county, thus the name).

I was aware of OKC because they make a pair of regular folder knives, the Rat 1 and Rat 2, which are critically acclaimed as being among the best values for their price in the industry. I don’t however, own anything by them yet.

I decided to trust that their reported reputation for quality would extend into their other knife lines as well.

I went ahead and purchased the OKC Curve from Blade HQ.

Ontario Knife Company Curve Karambit in black

The Curve is a fixed blade karambit-style knife with an black-coated blade and a handle made out of composite laminated hardwood. It is slim and lightweight and felt comfortable in my hand. I’m not a karabit-type person, but I like this one. It appears well-build, sturdy, and has an interesting design.

It has an overall length of 7.875 inches. The blade length is 3.875 inches with a cutting edge of 3 inches. The blade is made of 1095 carbon steel (like some of my swords) with a hardness of 55-57 RC.

The nylon sheath was equally well-constructed and has a plastic liner inside to protect the nylon from the blade.

Now every knife I’ve ever purchased has come sharp out of the box. Sharp enough to slice paper or even shave hair on your arm.

But this one was relatively dull, by my standards. Disappointingly so. It tore paper and certainly didn’t shave hair. It didn’t even pass the finger nail test.

So I attempted to sharpen it using my Lansky sharpening system with stones specially rounded for curved blades. I immediately ran into trouble trying to keep it secured because of the shape of the knife.

OKC Curve spine facing forward

I don’t know if you can tell in the picture, but the spine of the blade about halfway toward the point starts to taper. Because of that, I had difficulty keeping the Lansky knife clamp secured onto the blade.

The clamp kept slipping during sharpening, no matter how much I tightened it, which posed a slight safety hazard to my fingers.

The clamp also put some light scratches on the knife’s black finish.

After two days of frustrating work, the knife wasn’t much sharper than when I started. It cut paper easily enough, but it still didn’t have the edge I wanted.

So, I emailed OKC expressing my dissatisfaction. I explained the blade came too dull for my tastes and I had attempted to sharpen it without success because the shape of the blade thwarted my attempts.

I finished by saying, even though the fit and finish of the knife is of good quality, I wasn’t sure I’d be a future customer.

I thought that would be the end of it. I had my say, the company would delete the email, and life would go on.

Imagine my surprise when I received an answer. And not just a stock reply, “thank you for contacting us, blah blah blah, please accept this attempt to mollify you,” but a real honest to goodness response from a real honest to goodness customer service person concerned about my issue and wanting to rectify the situation!

She said if I sent the knife to them, they would professionally sharpen it or even replace it, if necessary. She even included a FedEx shipping label.

Within a fortnight, they returned my knife, which now had a nice, shiny professional edge on it! And it cost me nothing.

To be honest, although I have read and watched several good reviews on the OKC Rat 1 and Rat 2, I hadn’t considered purchasing either knife any time soon because I have several other knives on my Wish List ahead of them.

But after experiencing such great customer service and learning that here was that rarist of breeds — a company that really does give a damn about customer satisfaction and is willing to go the extra mile to achieve it — my next knife purchase will definitely be from the Ontario Knife Company.

Thanks, OKC. You’re good people.

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Musical Monday – Captain Beyond

Captain Beyond’s eponymous debut album featured a 3-D design

Captain Beyond has often been referred to as a supergroup because it’s members came from three great classic rock bands, Deep Purple (vocalist Rod Evans), Iron Butterfly (guitarist Larry “Rhino” Reinhardt, bassist Lee Dorman), and the Edgar Winter Group (drummer Bobby Caldwell, who later appeared on Rick Derringer’s All America Boy).

The thing is however, that Rhino never appeared in the “classic” Iron Butterfly lineup that came out with In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (Dorman did) and Deep Purple fired Evans very early on (because guitarist Richie Blackmore was a dick).

These details don’t alter the fact that Captain Beyond was a very good, often overlooked, hard rock outfit. There are several reasons they didn’t achieve the same degree of success as many of their contemporaries, like the aforementioned Deep Purple, or Free, Hawkwind, Foghat, Thin Lizzy, Mountain, Judas Priest, et al.

One reason is they signed with the wrong record label. Rhino was good friends with Duane Allman of the Allman Brothers and upon Duane’s recommendation, Capricorn Records signed Captain Beyond.

It quickly became apparent that Capricorn, a southern rock record label, had no idea how to market Captain Beyond’s brand of space rock and ended up pretty much ignoring it.

Another issue was Captain Beyond’s eponymous debut album, released in 1972, was not radio friendly. The songs aren’t broken down into neat little 3 or 5-minute units. In fact, there is essentially only one real break and that’s to enable the vinyl record to be flipped. Otherwise, one song morphs into the next and melodies reprise, fade out, and return creating essentially one extended cohesive composition.

Without much radio play or a hit single, the band struggled to make a name for themselves.

Captain Beyond, their first album however, is still an excellent album, sounding as fresh today as it did back in 1972, with tightly written songs and great guitar riffs.

Rhino was one of rock’s true guitar wizards (he passed away on January 2, 2012 at the far too young age of 63). Rhino had a great tone and his solos were very precise. Depite his talent, his career was spent in relative obscurity.

Captain Beyond released their second album, Sufficiently Breathless, in 1973. Despite breaking this album up into more radio-friendly fare and getting some radio play, success still eluded them.

Bobby Caldwell had left the group to be replaced by Brian Glascock on drums and Guille Garcia on congas, timbales, and percussion. The producer didn’t like Glascock, and he was replaced by Marty Rodriguez on Garcia’s recommendation.

They also added a keyboardist, Reese Wynans, to the lineup that produced their second album (he quit after one show).

Despite the fact that Dorman, Rhino, and Evans wrote the material, the songs on Sufficiently Breathless are jazzier and smoother, having lost much of the hard edge that defined Captain Beyond’s sound.

This YouTube video contains both Captain Beyond’s first two albums:

The band broke up at the end of 1973, but reformed in 1976. Caldwell returned, but because they couldn’t contact Rod Evans (he had essentially retired), vocalist Jason Cahune took over, but was soon replaced by Willy Daffern.

It is said that among those to try out for the band was one Steve Perry, who went on to fame and fortune as Journey’s vocalist. One can’t help but wonder if the addition of Perry might have turned Captain Beyond’s fortunes around.

In 1977, Captain Beyond released their final album, Dawn Explosion on the Warner Brothers label. Unfortunately, the switch to Warner Brothers couldn’t save this lackluster effort, though it was still better than a lot of music that came out then.

The band broke up again. The band attempted to reunite in the late 1990s, putting out a four track EP, Night Train Coming, but the band broke up again in 2003.

In 1999, a tribute album to Captain Beyond called Thousand Days of Yesterdays was released on the Swedish label Record Haven.

In 2017, a compilation album of alternative recordings to previously released tracks and one never heard before song was put out titled, Lost & Found 1972-1973 by Purple Pyramid records.

Here is that previously unreleased track, “Uranus Expressway.”

It’s sad that a band with so much potential disappeared so quickly because of poor marketing, but at least we have their three studio albums, as well as some bootleg live albums, to listen to while we ponder what might have been.

Maybe Captain Beyond would have been remembered for songs such as, “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Lights,” and “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’.”

Or not.

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It is random Friday

A Friday Haiku

Friday Friday Yay!

Friday Friday Friday Yay!

Friday Friday Yay!

Weigh-In Friday

Damn you, Easter candy! Damn you, Cadbury mini eggs! Why must you be so tempting and delicious?

The only consoling fact is, now you’re gone for another year and there is nothing else out there that is an adequate substitute.

Hey hey you you get offa my floor

There’s this guy from a different floor, from a completely different division, who literally has no reason to be on our floor, yet he comes up every day to use our restroom.

And every single time he leaves it smelling like the sewer backed up.

Which, unless I miss my guess, is probably why he does it. He has most likely been banished from his own floor’s restroom.

I’ve been seriously contemplating buying several cans of Febreeze and attacking the room with double-barrel action like that commercial, it’s that bad.

Maybe if I do it every time he’s in there, he’ll find another floor to terrorize.

What a maroon

Can anyone believe what a moron the orange turd is? In his attacks of Amazon (because Amazon is owned by Jeff Bezos, who also owns the Washington Post, which is critical of the orange turd), Trumpy the Clown has shown that he has no idea how the United States Post Office works. He thinks Amazon uses the Post Office as their personal delivery boy.

Well, first, that is their job. They are America’s delivery boy.

Second, Amazon pays them for the service (just like the rest of us do), they don’t get packages delivered for free (ever hear of postage stamps, Donnie?). In that way, Amazon is actually supporting the Post Office.

Third, Trumpy the Clown hates Jeff Bezos because, as I said, he owns the Washington Post, which is critical of Donnie. In other words, it tells the truth about what a lying, crooked piece of orange shit Trumpy is. But more than that, Trumpy is jealous of Bezos’ success because Bezos was named the richest man in the world sometime in 2017 while Trumpy is always declaring bankruptcy, ruining businesses, and destroying lives.

The second ignorant thing Trumpy the Clown said was when he admitted he had no idea what a Community College was. Seriously? Out of touch much?

And lastly, Trumpy tweeted this:

showing that he has no clue how our economy works, or how the commodities market functions.

You just signed the fucking bill yesterday, you dope!

Can he become more ignorant?

The answer is: Yes, daily.

He’s also a lying by omission. Yes, aluminum decreased 4%, but that’s after they skyricketed in March after he first announced the tariff.

Last Word

As you can tell by my haiku, I’m pleased as punch that it’s Friday. It’s been a long week, but we made it to the weekend.

And as always, I leave you with a song:

Keep resisting.

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